DISH
NETWORK CUSTOMER SERVICE REFERENCE GUIDE - A MUST READ.
Compiled and composed by Michael D. Main - all rights apply.
Email dated 1/23/2008 to Press@echostar.com from Michael
Main - Author, broadcaster, reporter, Christian and apparent masochist.
Greetings,
My name is Michael Main.
I am the Managing News Editor for (redacted
- A San Antonio based mass communications firm, one of the largest on earth).
My employer since 1985.
I am contacting you as a Dish customer - not
in conjunction with my career, although I may turn this saga into (redacted -
novel/movie/entertainment feature/consumer alert) via privately controlled
websites/blogs.
I simply thought I should express my utter dismay
to someone perhaps with some Public Relations common sense (since conventional
‘contact us’ emails to The Dish Network have gone ignored) regarding the manner
in which my wife and I have been treated by individuals purported to be Dish
Network “Customer Service” representatives.
Feel free to look up my acct. records, you may
find them amusing…I find them disturbing to the point where I have filed formal
complaints with numerous federal and state agencies (some information redacted).
The Acct # is: XXXXXXXXXXXX
Our address is:
XXXXXXXXXX
San Antonio, TX
(210) XXX-XXXX -home phone
In brief, although it’s ludicrous to even attempt
to make this brief, we have been Dish Network subscribers for nearly 2
years. In December of 2007, upon being offered various incentives
by your competitors, we began exploring the idea of switching to another
service. Our contractual commitment to EchoStar and The Dish
Network was completed and frankly I was fed up with having to call every month
to clarify mistakes on our DISH NETWORK bill - usually phone line charges
- calls that often took 2 hours or more to reach someone who
actually understood what I was saying and could act upon it. Every month
I was told the same thing, “I’ll put a notation on your account so this won’t
happen again.” The next month it ALWAYS happened again.
It became a running gag in our household.
Despite the attractive offers from Direct TV and
Time Warner, my wife (who is XXXXXXX) and I agreed that it would be far simpler
if we could reach a new agreement with the Dish network or
EchoStar. A very capable DISH saleswoman handled our situation,
reduced our bill by 1/3 or more, gave us a “sampling” of some premium channels,
and allowed us to not be under any contract. In return we downsized to 1
multi-room DVR (from the previous 4 room/2 receiver system) and agreed to
paperless billing and auto-payment of our monthly bill from my MasterCard.
In early January of 2008, we left the country for
a short period returning on January 13th. We found an
empty box from “the DISH network” on our porch. No letter, no phone
message, no explanation accompanied the DISH NETWORK LABELED BOX.
I assumed this PREVIOUSLY UNMENTIONED BOX FROM DISH
was for the return of the unused receiver, but having been out of the country,
my wife being ill, and having to ramp up/catch up with work responsibilities I
did not consider an empty box from “the Dish Network” with no explanation a
huge priority. Yesterday, 1/22/2008, I noticed a 200-dollar
“unauthorized charge to my MasterCard from Dish Network.” I assumed this
was a mistake, and naively thought I could clarify this with a “DISH Customer
Service” rep since we were “continuing” and proven loyal customers.
That call took 1 ½ hours - involved untold numbers
of ‘representatives’ before I finally was put in touch with a young woman
who said, “We will reverse the charges immediately if you will just go drop
off the receiver with UPS and call back with a tracking number.” Again,
I am in the journalism business, I do not misquote people.
I then asked if I could call her direct, she said
that would not be necessary, that she “would make a notation on our file and
anyone who answered could handle the rest.”
At 11:11 a.m. I dropped off the receiver/Dish box
with UPS - situated less than ½ mile from our home. I called the same
“DISH Toll-free number” literally from the parking lot of the UPS store not 10
minutes after hanging up with the previous “EchoStar customer service
representative.”
It was as if I had called the Moon. I
was again put through a barrage of people reading stock answers that had
nothing to do with my situation. Some 45 to 60 minutes later I was
connected with a Mr. “William **** Removed
- see footnote -” identifying
himself as “R43.” Mr. William ****
Removed - see footnote - almost
immediately proceeded to imply - if not implicitly state - that I was “lying”
about being promised an “immediate reversal” of this “disputed, unapproved,
unauthorized DISH NETWORK credit card charge” of $200.00. “Mr. William **** Removed - see footnote -” repeatedly said that “He” was
the only one who could authorize such a reversal of an “unauthorized credit
card charge made by DISH” and he never would.
I asked if he had notes from the woman I had
spoken with in my prior call, “WILLIAM ****
Removed - see footnote -” then
became confused, inferred we had signed a new 18 month contract in December of
2007, and then obviously to me at least actually started reading the “notes.”
When I asked if those notes did not say that
QUOTE, “customer was told Dish would make an exception and provide immediate
reversal of the charge” DISH REPRESENTATIVE “WILLIAM **** Removed - see footnote -”
dodged, and wiggled and became so defensive you’d have thought I caught him in
some compromising position with a member of the wild kingdom. “Dish
Customer Service Supervisor” ****
Removed - see footnote - then
accused me of lying. I asked if he could provide me with the
DISH/ECHOSTAR Rep number of the woman I had last spoken with during the
previous call. I received no response. Mr. **** Removed - see footnote -
put me on hold - what turned out to be a repeated pattern - and eventually came
back ranting about an unrelated topic and never answering my
question. Finally William ****
Removed - see footnote - said, “You
will need a court order to get that information.”
I am serious. He said this repeatedly on
January 22nd 2008 in a conversation with me on my cell phone - using
my minutes to boot!
Remember, I am an existing Dish/Echostar customer,
with auto monthly payment withdrawal, paperless billing, and I had only
days earlier “renewed” my relationship with “The Dish Network”. A
COURT ORDER? This person is in “DISH Network Customer
Service?”
I asked to speak to Mr. **** Removed -
see footnote -’s “Supervisor” and he
refused my request - repeatedly. He said he “would talk to me about
anything except my previous call, and his supervisor.” I mockingly
said, “How’s the weather?” Dish NETWORK Customer Service
Supervisor William **** Removed -
see footnote - responded, “I’ll
go look.” He then put me on hold -
indefinitely. In the course of this wonderful exchange which
had now dragged on for some four hours since my initial call, Mr. **** Removed - see footnote - “cancelled” my DISH service,
suddenly started telling me where to send HIS Dish equipment, and saying he
couldn’t “promise” that a box would be sent to our house for the equipment’s
return but if EchoStar property wasn’t returned we would charged. I said
I wanted to be “disconnected from HIM” - Mr. William **** Removed - see footnote -
apparently did not understand and obviously proceeded to disconnect our Dish
Service without any attempt to retain us as customers!
After this “DISH customer service SUPERVISOR”
essentially hung up on me, I immediately called back. I talked to yet
another “Rep” who sounded as if she had been a Valium chomping champion - I
briefly explained the situation (really, it was brief) and she said, “Give
me the UPS tracking number, I’ll reverse the charge. You’re service is
not being cut off.”
I was admittedly amazed, and stated such.
She replied, “Do you want to give me the tracking number of not?” I
complied, thanked her profusely and asked for her Dish/EchoStar employee number
with the intent of passing along my praises - she tersely said, “AOB,
anything else?”
I asked again if she was certain our service was
intact, our credit card charge would be reversed, etc and she seemed
exasperated with the questions. Not wanting to spend any more
of my day on the phone with these charming folks, I thanked her again, and hung
up thinking all was finally well.
I had a business meeting in Austin that afternoon,
so I hurriedly prepared but as I was leaving I turned on the TV.
“No DISH service.”
I called EchoStar’s “toll free number” yet again
on the way to Austin. Spoke to another rep who apologized, said she was “crediting
my account $15.00 for all my troubles” and then (despite my insistence that
it would do no good since I was driving) connected me to “technical
support.” I spoke briefly with a young man named “Chris” who
apparently hung up as I told my tale of woe…not sure when, I think before I
even reached Selma.
I went to Austin. My wife took up the
mantle of the battle against potentially illegal and certainly “unauthorized
DISH NETWORK CHARGES” at 2 or 3 a.m. the following morning. Yes, she
called the “Toll free Customer Support line for DISH” again. She
was then told we would have to pay a reactivation fee, a 2-month deposit, our
service would be higher priced, and we would no longer receive the premium
channel previews we had been ‘guaranteed’ for 3 months. She fought her
way through that negotiation back down to our original plan established only
weeks prior - or at least we think she did - but not before having to pay a
“past due” balance. Huh? We have auto withdrawal! How could anything be
“past due?” To top it off, the DISH/EchoStar “Customer Service Expert”
she spoke with then told her “DISH WOULD credit our Dish bill”
with the original $200 in dispute.
I work early mornings, I arrived home and got
a recap and immediately determined I did not want a 200 dollar “Dish” credit -
I wasn’t sure and am still not certain that we will want to spend 1 more dollar
with Dish much less 200!
I naively sent a third email to “DISH customer
service” - I couldn’t handle more phone calls - I received no response to any
of those emails to this day.
I had no choice but to contact my bank and
attorney. Both advised I immediately “contest” the $200
charge. This required my driving to my bank, writing all of this
out long hand on notarized forms, CANCELLING my MasterCard, notifying
other firms with whom I do regular business that we would need to alter our
usual payment methods due the “DISH NETWORK’S unauthorized use of my
MasterCard.”
I also had to explain this situation to various
employees, and as it turns out fellow customers of my bank - the crowd
grew as I repeated the details - almost as fast as the numerous looks of
astonishment and the number of times someone interjected, “You are their
CUSTOMER? This is how DISH treats paying CUSTOMERS?”
So, now I’m assuming that any number of things
will happen. First, I’m sure our satellite service will be cut off again
without notice. Boxes will likely appear on our doorstep, no one will
call us despite leaving my home, office and mobile phone numbers with various
individuals.
I also know that the F.T.C., the Texas Attorney
General Consumer Fraud dept, a few friends in the state legislature and
the F.C.C. have been notified of this ordeal with special emphasis on the fact
that I was repeatedly asked by EchoStar/DISH employees for my Social Security
Number and other private information by easily 20 people, many of whom sounded
as if they were working out of India. I have put a “credit
lock” in place as a precaution against potential DISH EMPLOYEE PREDATORS
(at my expense), and I will spend part of tomorrow filing reports with various
other agencies including the Better Business Bureau as well as discussing
the potential for legal maneuvers either on a personal or “class” level with
several attorney friends, one whom I
keep on retainer, to see if it’s worth my while to seek recompense for my time
and expenses which continue to mount as a result of this ill-fated decision to
“stay with the Dish Network.”
Odds are I’ll have to make an appointment with the
“cable guy” too… depending on what DISH boxes arrive, etc.
Honestly, I fear that my “credit has possibly been
damaged by the actions of Dish network” employees, that my “private
identity” information has been compromised by untold numbers of people of marginal
credibility who are likely also foreigners, and the repercussions of this
insane situation could haunt me for years as a result.
My name is Michael Main. I live in San
Antonio, Texas. This is my account of my most recent bad experience
with The Dish Network. Anyone reading this can judge for themselves
as to the truthfulness of my statements. My advice is NOT to do
business with EchoStar or The Dish Network if you value your privacy, your bank
account, your phone minutes, and/or your sanity.
(Redacted contact information for DISH Public
Relations)
JANUARY 24TH, 2008 I received this “boilerplate” email
apparently in response to one of the general emails sent using Dish Network’s
general “contact us” form - my restrained response follows.
From: FeedBack@customermail.dishnetwork.com
[mailto:FeedBack@customermail.dishnetwork.com]
Sent: Wednesday, January 23, 2008 11:19 PM
To: michael@michaelmain.com
Subject: RE: Billing, 210xxxxxxxx
Dear Michael D. Main,
Thank you for your e-mail. We would like to apologize on behalf of the
DISH Network for the way that your issue was handled by our representatives. We
take our customer service seriously and strive to be the best in our industry.
Our customers are very important to us and we sincerely apologize for the
service that you have received.
Please understand that as a growing company, we are continuously
training all of our employees and constantly re-evaluating our customer
service. There is no excuse for being inconsistent or insufficient to those
that have made us what we are today—our customers.
Furthermore, our records indicate that we haven’t received the
equipment. We will process a refund of $200 after we receive it. If you have
any problem with your service or programming, you may call our Customer
Service Center at 1-800-333-3474 (emphasis mine) to further assist you.
We appreciate that you have brought this to our attention so that we
may address this issue with the appropriate personnel. Once again, please
accept our sincerest apologies and we thank you for your feedback.
We thank you for allowing us to be of assistance to you. If you have
any further questions or concerns, please refer to www.dishnetwork.com or reply
to this email.
Sincerely,
Rowena J.
Dear Rowena,
Thank you for at least responding to my
third or fourth email, it's nice that after 12-15 HOURS on the phone with
surly, mean, accusatory and I believe potentially threatening "Customer
Service" employees that you would have the intelligence to open to page 24
of your manual and send me a form letter suggesting of all things that I
CALL YET AGAIN!
The equipment in question was sent via
UPS on Tuesday 1/22/2008 within 10 minutes of my conversation with a DISH rep
who PROMISED me that once I had a tracking number for the return shipment, the
unauthorized, unannounced, and I believe fraudulent charge to my credit card
would be "reversed." The tracking number should be in your
records, since I gave it and my SSN, as well as wide array of other personal
information to as many as 20 and perhaps 30 of your employees.
That rep (whose name I unfortunately
did not write down as she was the 9th or 10th person I spoke with during that
FIRST phone call) assured me that all I would have to do is "call back and
give the tracking number" and everything would be immediately taken care
of, since I was NOT cancelling service, I had in fact signed up for EXACTLY
what DISH/EchoStar has been eagerly asking customers to do - paperless
billing/auto-withdrawal of our monthly bill. I asked that Rep for a
number to call HER back directly and she said that would be impossible
"but ANYONE who answered the phone would be able to immediately rectify
the situation since she was making copious notes on my account record."
That Rep either lied, or is under the
illusion that fellow employees are competent.
Rowena, in case you don't get it, your
apology, although I'm sure sincere, is not going to cut it.
First off, I have "disputed"
what is undeniably an illegal, unauthorized $200 charge to my MasterCard for
which I was given ZERO notice. This means I had to CANCEL that
MasterCard and be reissued a new one. I had to write an extensive
explanation, have it notarized, drive to my bank, and make certain my previous MasterCard
was destroyed while bearing witness to that fact, and then begin the process of
being issued another MasterCard. I then spent the rest of Wednesday
contacting "reputable" companies with whom I do business to give
them new billing information so that they could change their records to
reflect my new MasterCard account. Yes, I certainly informed
them of what brought about this situation - specifically the DISH
Network. I had many long conversations with various people in
multiple states explaining why my MasterCard was cancelled, and that it was the
only option left to me by the DISH Network's lack of diligence in protecting my
financial and personal information. You can imagine their
reaction...maybe...I'm assuming you can imagine things. Try to imagine each
of those people responding to the question, "How was your day? Anything out of the ordinary?"
The DISH network and Mr. William **** Removed - see footnote -
(one of your Customer Service 'supervisors' who in my opinion is quite
possibly mentally unstable) harmed my credit rating, took money from me
without permission, accused me of lying, resulted in me and my wife
wasting at least 15 hours on the phone talking to DISH employees whom I'm not
certain even understand what the company does, much less their
jobs. They, as apparently you do, simply parrot back the
"suggested response" from the "Customer Service
manual" over and over and over again - with the exception of Mr. **** Removed - see footnote - who opted in my opinion to
lie, cut off my service, accuse me and my wife of lying, slander me (did I
mention I am XXXINFO REDACTEDXXX with the capability of recording phone
conversations?) and I believe quite possibly launched retaliatory tactics that
opened my family up to potential identity theft, credit theft, and innumerable
other possible problems which might last for years!
AND YOU SUGGEST I CALL BACK FOR MORE?
I have sent an email to your
"public relations" office as a courtesy. I have also been in contact
with FTC, the FCC and the Texas Attorney General. I plan to spend part of
this day talking with the Better Business Bureau, and others to seek not only
the return of my $200 (which by the way at 3:48 a.m. on Wednesday one of your
"customer service reps" refunded "TO MY DISH ACCOUNT"
without my permission and against my express wishes. This after
that rep tried to browbeat my wife into paying various "involuntary
reconnect charges", tried to change the terms of our newly agreed to
"deal" (yes, this started because we opted to STAY with DISH not
LEAVE...approximately one MONTH ago), and attempted not to honor the
"incentives" we were promised when we agreed to stay with
DISH. 3:48 in the morning!!! I started
calling your company at approximately 9:30 a.m. the PREVIOUS morning to resolve
this obviously simple issue.
How DARE you have the gall to now
suggest that "we haven't received the equipment and will
refund...etc" at this point? Did you even READ my email?
I am not some crank. I am
the Managing Editor for XXXXX - The largest out of home media company on
earth. I have worked for this company since 1985. I have dealt with
public relations people for more than three decades.
You need to immediately drop your
"Suggested Response Manual" and try a new approach. Call the
highest ranking person in the company you know, and ask them to call the
highest ranking person in the company they know and then have that person call
me personally - at either my home or via my mobile number (both listed
below) and have them BEG me not to pursue further legal
action. YOU need to locate the tracking number for your equipment,
which I gave to at least a half dozen of your employees, and realize it was
sent to you at 11:11 a.m. on 1/22/2008 EXACTLY as I said. Then you
need to find out what 1 receiver costs EchoStar - wholesale - and ask your
boss, your bosses’ boss, and everyone else up the food chain this question,
"Is it really worth the amount of bad publicity, the loss of customer(s),
and having (phrase substituted) a person of influence absolutely DESPISE our
company for X dollars?" Maybe you can find someone in
accounting that can do math to help you realize the ENORMITY of the mistake
that has been made here.
" …call our Customer Service Center...to
further 'assist' you."
There are nine people who have seen me
writing this response - nine individuals of “influence” - - which are laughing
out loud as I write this, and hanging on every word and it’s not yet dawn.
Want to guess how many people those 9
people "influence" on a DAILY basis?
Want to guess what story they're going
to tell when people ask them about "The DISH network?"
Want to venture a guess how they might
weigh in opinion-wise on divisive local issues such as the NFL network vs. Time
Warner?
Don't look it up in your
"How-to" book. Use your brain. Sound a FIRE
ALARM. This is a completely unnecessary mess and you've only made
it WORSE!
Please be clear, I am writing only as a
DISH customer. I have been one for nearly 2 years. I have
tried everything possible to remain a DISH customer, but I cannot let The DISH
NETWORK rob me, subject me to potential “Identity Theft,” and/or
harm my credit or reputation.
I do not play defense.
I'm actually a very nice
man. I'm a Christian. Ordained. I speak to a lot of
people every day in my personal life, and hundreds of thousands of people daily
in multiple cities as a result of the blessing of my chosen career.
Believe me, in my personal life; the only thing I have spoken about is
the DISH network for three days now. As you might
imagine, my thoughts are not likely to win you any future customers.
My email to the "Public Relations" office of
EchoStar is now posted on the Internet, as this email and your missive will be
soon. For YEARS to come people will be
able to type in "Consumer Alert Dish Network" and all of this will
show up in the top 10 in Google. Much like Las Vegas - "What's
posted on the Internet, STAYS on the Internet."
I hope the Dish Network/EchoStar
believes it has received its 200 bucks worth. I've spent 3 days,
untold hours, hundreds of my mobile phone minutes, used up the resources of
lawyers and bank employees, tied up various other individuals for hours and
hours, all because DISH network decided to use what I consider
"mob-like" tactics to deal with a LOYAL CONTINUING CUSTOMER.
I'll let you know when I get MY
$200 worth.
Should you have any further questions,
please feel free to call Dish Customer Service, you folks seemingly only listen
to each other anyway.
Michael D. Main
January 24th 1:00 pm
|
January 25th 10:00 am
A call was placed to our home number from
866-668-8047. The caller hung up before
we answered or our answering service picked up (less than 4 rings). We called back and determined the call was from
The DISH Network. A young man calling
himself Milo Z52 said he had placed the call.
We then inquired as to what he wanted and Milo Z52 said he wanted to let
me know that DISH had received the equipment (for which we were illegally
billed $200.00) “today.”
I explained to Milo Z52 that UPS had confirmed
delivery of the equipment “yesterday at 12:00 p.m.” Milo responded, “No, we received it today.”
I asked Milo Z52 if he was aware of anything about
our account/dispute with EchoStar or The DISH Network and he said, “Uh,
no.” I then asked if Milo Z52 was in
fact a “shipping clerk” to which he said, “Um…yes.”
I thanked Milo Z52 and wished him a good day after
pointing out that it might benefit him in his chosen profession to learn how to
read UPS tracking receipts ,calendars…and the Bible.
January 25th 11:54 am
Our home phone rang one time and the caller then
hung up. Caller ID revealed the call was
placed from: 866-668-8047.
I again called to inquire why the DISH Network was
attempting to call our home and hanging up after one ring. I spoke to a very nice woman, whose name
escapes me now, but she did sound like she was native to the United
States. She said, “I don’t see anything
in the notes about why we’d be calling you.”
I admit I laughed and said, “You don’t see ANYTHING in the notes about
my account?”
She replied, “Well, not that says why they are
calling you.”
I liked the fact she referred to the Dish Network
with a pronoun implying she was not a full-fledged devotee or possibly she was
referring to some ominous “hit squad” - I’d believe almost anything now. She then said, “Do you know why they’d be calling you?”
I really laughed now, to the point of tears. Then I rattled off 15 to 30 reasons the Dish
Network might call me ranging from: “Milo the El Paso shipping clerk hit redial
when he meant to use the company phone to ask his Dad if he thought the Dish
Network was really the mafia, to someone in the Public Relations division
wanting to respond to my email begging them to do their job, to EchoStar CEO Charles Ergen calling saying
despite being overseas visiting one of his off shore bank accounts, he was on
his knees in one of his best suits in the middle of the vault calling to plead
with me for forgiveness and offering me not only an all expense paid trip
around the world in one of his corporate jets, but also a full time job doing
absolutely nothing but which paid a fortune.
The young woman with whom I was speaking did not
think any of those were likely scenarios, “because there were no notes on the
screen to indicate anything like that.”
She didn’t even giggle.
Maybe she realized that she and Milo the shipping
clerk work for the same “company” and after that nothing seemed too humorous.
In any case, she was quite delightful - the nicest
person I’ve spoken with at DISH in several days, perhaps ever. She didn’t even ask for my Social Security
number.
I said that I’m sure she had plenty of other calls
to answer, to which she replied, “OH, YOU KNOW IT!”
Then I wished her a wonderful weekend and said,
“Good bye, and may God protect you.”
January 25th 12:45 pm (rough estimate
since Amy forwarded our phone to her mobile hoping I might sleep).
“Misty” from DISH Network calls and speaks to Amy (let’s
not even go there being that the account is under my name) to inquire,“Why you
cancelled your DISH Network service?”
Amy, thinking I might now be asleep - that’s her
story although I suspect she feared I might go completely over the edge -
patiently attempts to explain this entire situation to “Misty.” Amy then tells me she has spoken to “Misty”
and manages to complete her story amid my many attempted interruptions. Amy says “Misty” - whom she says she has a
direct line for - “has straightened everything out.” I remind Amy that “Misty” cannot possibly
have done that since DISH can’t have access to our bank account so “Misty”
couldn’t refund the money the firm absconded with, much less reimburse me for
having to call creditors, change credit card links, and book a room at the
Rubber Ramada. Still, Amy says “Misty”
has at least ridded our account information of details about service
disconnection, restored our original billing date, and made certain our $200
was credited back to our DISH account. Amy seems happy. I seem less than thrilled since I don’t
want $200 of DISH credit, I want money in my bank account and at minimum a
“real apology.” Amy says she’ll call
“Misty” back “soon” - assuming I suppose that I will eventually collapse from exhaustion.
January 25th 12:59 pm
I am trying not to fume about “Misty” and decide I
have nothing to lose at this point and attempt to send an email to Charles
Ergen, CEO/Founder of EchoStar. I have
no idea of his email address, but I’ve seen a lot of email addresses in my day
and corporate email address policies. I
send the following email to 9-12 “good guesses” of what Mr. Ergen’s email
address might be.
<Some portions removed to protect the small
amount of privacy we have left in our lives, having lost all dignity by this
point.>
Subject: Just one customer…who won’t play defense
Mr. Ergen,
I have serious doubts this email will reach you,
but since no one at EchoStar or DISH replies to emails from customers with the
exception of a boilerplate pre-written response (I’ve emailed not only via your
website but also Public Relations/Media relations - seeing as I am a member of
the media) I thought, “What the hell, why not?” I’m taking a guess at your
possible email address.
I have filed complaints with the FTC, the Texas
Attorney General, MasterCard, and others as a result of my attempt to CONTINUE
BEING A DISH NETWORK CUSTOMER! That’s right I want to give you money every month and have for nearly two years.
The insanity which necessitated this is far too
convoluted to write out in an email.
In brief I have been robbed, insulted, lied to
(repeatedly), harassed, retaliated against (service disconnection), threatened,
forced to deal with creditors, my bank, and lawyers because of your firm’s
“Customer Service Representatives” and - from what I have been told - its
illegal billing practices.
Now, someone with some intelligence is apparently
trying to do “an end run” and calling my “wife” trying to wiggle out of
this…even the mob doesn’t go after family members.
I am not some nut. I am the Managing Editor
for THIS IS REMOVED BECAUSE I LIKE MY JOB/San Antonio and have been for more
than 20 years. In the wildly impossible scenario that this email
actually reaches you or some underling with the education to add up the costs
of an ongoing public relations nightmare that is escalating, I sincerely
request you contact me.
My name is Michael Main
My cell number is XXX-XXX-XXXX (THIS IS REMOVED BECAUSE I STILL HAVE SOME
BRAIN CELLS - I THINK)
My website is www.michaelmain.com
You can even just “Google” my name, no quotes
necessary.
I can save you a ton of money at no cost (with the
exception of your firm refunding the funds it took without authorization, plus
a few minor expenses I believe should be reimbursed). I guarantee that such a
small effort would save your company and me an immense amount of grief.
One email, one phone call, whatever.
That number is on 24/7 - it’s my inside “on call’
line.
Grace and peace,
Michael
Michael D. Main
I decide to take the rest of the afternoon off
from the DISH NETWORK NIGHTMARE.
January 25th 12:59:30 pm
Nine or ten of the copies of the email I sent in
the dark to possible email addresses for Charles Ergen bounce. At least three do not.
January 25th 2:55 pm
I cannot sleep, in part due to calls from our bank
checking on “unusual credit card use.”
Since I had to cancel my MasterCard, I’m now buying all our little daily
supplies and other items with my VISA card which I rarely use. I explain things to the bank, for I believe
the third time this week, and all is well.
Until I check my email…
|
You have a new |
|
|
|
Really! I swear! This is true. Dish has not only wrongly taken 200 bucks
from my bank account, they’re now
billing me ANOTHER $140 plus change.
I suggest Amy call “Misty” - and I go looking to
see how much mental health coverage is provided by our insurance. Amy avoids me, I don’t blame her.
Mr. Ergen hasn’t called…or emailed.
January 25th 4:55 pm
I decide to call “Misty” since Amy is very tired
and showing disturbing physical signs of stress related to her disabilities, as
she has been all week.
I learn Amy doesn’t have a “direct line” for
“Misty” but has her employee number and “anyone can connect us to her from the
main Customer Service line.”
Yes, once again my friends. “Misty” lied.
Even so, I call again and am connected to “Evelyn
B3B” - please remember this identifier/name for it is quite possible that
“Evelyn B3B” is a Saint, a miracle worker, or has compromising pictures of a
wide array of corporate level folks with EchoStar/DISH.
I should add just prior to this I sent a quick
email to the “press office” at EchoStar investor relations. Basically it said, “What the Hell? It’s Friday!
Have some fun! Google my name…no quotes necessary. I promise you’ll remember the ride!”
I then started speaking with the apparently
blessed “Evelyn B3B.” I asked if she
could connect me to “Misty MGM” and she said that was not possible. I admit I thought, “Great, why am I wasting
my time?”
Evelyn B3B interjected, “I’m sure I can help you, but
we have call centers all over the world, there’s no way - I mean I do not have
any ability to connect you to another call center even if I knew where Misty
was calling from, so let’s see what I can do?
Please?”
This was a new tactic, my defenses must be
down. However, I went along with this
mysterious Evelyn B3B warning her repeatedly that there was no way she was
going to tolerate hearing this entire tale of woe and that there was nothing
she was going to be able to do for me even if she did.
She just stayed on the line and listened.
I mean I spared her virtually nothing…except
profanity or a raised voice (even when I did my impression of that **** Removed - see footnote - idiot). Periodically I’d ask Evelyn B3B if she was
really still there, and she assured me she was and urged me to continue. I was really off guard now, and starting to
worry about some new tactic as yet undeployed by “Customer Service” ….What was
I in for this time?
Evelyn B3B listened to every word, every whine,
every repetitive stanza of this increasingly depressing dirge of despair until
I finally had to say, “So, as you must now realize - there’s nothing you can do
for me. Misty said she was crediting our
account and all was well and minutes later I was billed another 140
dollars. I’ve contacted literally dozens
of your fellow employees (apparently in multiple countries) and not one offered
a real solution. I just honestly want to
thank you for actually listening to me and expect nothing else. I’m sure you’re busy.”
Ladies and Gentleman - unless I have fallen into
the snare of the biggest and best con artist in the den of denial known as
“DISH Customer Service” - I believe I
have found the shining star, the one true dedicated employee at Dish Network
Customer Service who understands the words presumably printed somewhere in her
office…”Customer Service.”
Not only did Evelyn B3B assure me that I was not
being billed another 140 bucks and that my service had been completely restored
to the state it was in prior to the sabotage we endured. She read off the services we had, she said
“This is ALL on my screen and will have to be on EVERYONE’S screen that has
reason to look at your account.” Evelyn
B3B didn’t even ask for my Social Security number. Then I got my wind back. I started peppering her with questions:
“You’re saying that my bill will be $52.02 each
month from now on and that I am under no contract?”
Evelyn B3B replied, “It’ll be less! They’re crediting you $15.00 a month for the
next 12 months too.”
**Honestly
I’m not going to hold her to that, I still think her eyes glazed over something
but that’s not really important. **
I said, “Oh you mean they’re going to gradually
refund the $200 taken from my account in $15.00 increments.”
Evelyn B3B (a lovely moniker don’t you think?)
said, “Oh, no Sir! In fact, you should
insist on a refund of that $200 to your bank account not your DISH account…AND
YOU CAN YOU KNOW.”
She didn’t yell those last words, I put them in
caps because not once, ever in the four torturous days of dealing with untold
numbers of “Customer Service Representatives” and their “Superiors” had any of
them EVER said ANYTHING like that, even before I had my MasterCard destroyed.
I was really wary now - “Vipers are probably
coming under my front door as I’m listening to this, they may have already
attacked Amy by now for all I know,” I thought.
“Evelyn B3B, you sweet naïve thing,” I cooed, “I
know you’re trying to soothe the nerves of a tired old man possibly fighting
his last battle, but you shouldn’t say such things. There’s NO WAY I can get that money back
into my bank account unless you can somehow authorize DISH to send me cash or a
check, and despite my honest high regard for you which is now bordering on -
were it not for my deep and abiding love for my wife - the carnal,
I can’t believe even you, Evelyn B3B, have such
magical, almost goddess-like corporate warrior powers.”
“I don’t, you do” she said matter-of-factly. “Even though you cancelled that MasterCard
you can apply for a refund. MasterCard
knows what bank account to put it in and they don’t need permission to put
money IN your account!”
“Evelyn B3B! You’re not toying with me are
you? You wouldn’t do that to an obviously
vulnerable, sleep deprived and quite possibly crazed old man right?”
“Mr. Main, if you tell me that you want that money
refunded, I have to put in for the refund.
I can’t give you anything in writing, but you’ll get an ‘automated call’
telling you when it’s been processed.”
I sank down in my chair. Mayhap I am but a worn out soldier of
consumer conflict, but at that point I had no choice…I had to believe. To believe in “Evelyn B3B” and the glimmer of
hope that there was actually ONE employee at DISH NETWORK CUSTOMER Service who
actually knew how do to her job…well and right…on the first attempt.
Remember her name: “EVELYN B3B” - she may well
become the stuff of legends…and if I keep up she may also become the source for
some sordid fantasies (it’s the Internet after all).
I requested the refund; I profusely thanked Evelyn B3B who seemed honestly
embarrassed that I thought she had done something out of the ordinary.
Aren’t the “greats” always like that? DiMaggio, David Robinson, Evelyn B3B…
I left it at that. I did ask Evelyn B3B to play around on the
Internet tonight or tomorrow…type her moniker into Google…she’s going to be a
star I tell you. Someone is going to
hire her away from DISH CUSTOMER SERVICE I can guarantee.
Yes, I know what you’re thinking…”Michael,
Michael, Michael…nothing in writing, no ‘proof’, heck considering how long
you’ve been at this it’s possible you DREAMED Evelyn B3B into existence!”
Maybe, but she listened to every word until I ran
out of words. She didn’t interrupt
once. She was polite and patient. I am a man of faith, and I choose to
believe…in Evelyn B3B.
January 25th 6:10 pm
I have finished only minutes earlier recapping the
wondrous tale of “Evelyn B3B to Amy, revitalizing her faith in human-kind and
am about to begin relaying the details here, when an email arrives:
From: “Press” - Press@EchoStar.com
To: Michael Main
Subject: Your Inquiry
Michael,
We've received a copy of your service issues and are investigating.
We see from your blog that you've sent emails to press@echostar.com. We haven't seen these
emails, however, we'd like to assist but to do so we need the telephone number
associated with your account (and yes, we know you do not want to share
personal information and understand, but in order to investigate your issues we
use your name and phone number linked to your account to track down info in our
systems).
With your permission, we will contact you at the number provided to
discuss your issues, our investigation and hopefully find a resolution.
Thank you.
Moving huh?
Obviously not written by the lovely and delightful Evelyn B3B, but it
was a response, apparently to the email I sent to the “investor division press
office” at EchoStar - since the press relations division at DISH is apparently
in protective custody.
This was my response - make sure to read all the way to the bottom…I mean you’ve
endured it this far.
My Dearest “Press,”
At this point I may have to reserve
further informational releases until I can pitch this as a script for a sitcom.
Damn that writer’s strike!
I’m not sure how “We” - I’m
assuming you are actually referring to more than one member of your crack
“Press Relations” team and have not become so lofty as to refer to yourself in
the “Royal ‘We’” - will want to approach things now for several reasons.
First, I don’t know if you read
the entire ongoing saga recap linked to from my blog and if you haven’t I
certainly request at least “We” do so,
but give me another 30 or 40 minutes. I ask that because I have new
information and also because if I have to actually explain this yet again to
someone verbally, I truly fear my head will explode.
Also, I still have hopes that Mr.
Ergen might call or email - heck, I’m an optimist can’t you tell? I mean,
if the big guy with the loaded dice contacts me I would think my odds of
negotiating a sweet deal (maybe an office down the hall from you…uh we) would
be drastically improved.
And admittedly, I also just got off
the phone with by far at least the most patient “Customer Service
Representative” at DISH Network whom I need to incorporate into my writings -
which by the way I am beginning to consider as something more akin to
“performance art” - and whom, if she told me the “truth” (pardon my
cynicism) will result in her becoming something of an instant Internet
“STAR.” And, I obviously have to also mention you/we/press and this
response in that update.
Lastly - “God, please allow that adverb to apply I beseech Thee” - I
must admit that I have been awake since 1 a.m., have been consumed by this
ordeal for 7-15 hours a day since it began, while still trying to actually do my
“job” which allows me to put money in the bank for the DISH Network to take at
will and indirectly I suppose keep “We” employed. That means I’m
tired, and it may take me a little while to rally for another phone call.
I will say this much, the last young
lady I spoke with “promised” to rectify everything - she didn’t even transfer
my call or ask for my Social Security number…heck, I wasn’t even put on
hold. That experience is also something I wish to savor.
So Dear Press, since you are
unable to figure out how to reach me or find my account without my assistance
-- (MEMO TO MR. E: You really should
call me. I can rattle off several hundred cost saving measures for your company
gratis) -- I will be happy to provide you with the information you requested.
Let’s say in about 45 minutes.
I’m sure you’ll understand; if not…try
calling DISH Customer Service and asking a question…any question. I
can almost guarantee it will take at least 45 minutes for you to receive an answer
and that should keep you/we occupied.
Grace and peace,
Michael
Michael D. Main
January 25th 7:00 pm
I start to write an email to “We” the “Press” with
my promised and evidently elusive phone number, and suddenly realize that my original response didn’t send! Microsoft Outlook locked up for some reason!
I hurriedly send the original, with an added
apology and a small caveat at the very bottom:
Dear “Press,”
If you actually read this far - I figure “We”
went away by now…being that it’s Friday
and no telling what important functions Press must be at…or bars - I’m
still writing my update, but my phone number to start you on your quest is
210-XXX-XXXX (it’s the Internet, you get that by now right?)
P.S. -
Do they have phone books where you er “We” are?
MM
January 25th 8:12 pm
No
calls. No Emails. “We” be gone.
Gosh, I wish Outlook hadn’t locked up on me at such a highly inopportune
moment…
You think I should call Microsoft Customer
Support?
-----------------
I think I’ll close my eyes, hug my wife…and every
once in a while, praise God… for “Evelyn B3B.”
It is finished…
I pray.
**** This
person’s last name was removed for a specific reason, not a legal one, a
spiritual one - Grace. More on my
thoughts regarding this one redaction can be found here.
© January, 2008 - Michael Main
Concept Thanks To Wooden-Nickel.com