The Main Point - By Michael Main - MichaelMain.com

Rube The Day

2010-03-08T05:24:00.000-06:00

Ash Wednesday Update/Ramblings

2010-02-17T16:23:00.002-06:00

I love this time of year...it's a time of self examination and I'm pretty good at that...plus I like finding new ways to make room in my life for God.   This season is going to be interesting. Amy and I have decided to do some church shopping again.    We've loved the church we've been part of for the past couple of years, but we don't feel like we've really connected with a community.   It's not the community's fault...it's probably ours.   So we've been visiting churches and I must admit our current church home is looking better. I thought I could see cobwebs growing during the sermon we sat through on Sunday.

There are some other things changing during this time. The future of this blog is a little dicey.   Blogger is eliminating its support for the way I compose and edit this space.   They say they're going to provide some type of conversion tool.   They haven't yet.    I will likely roll with the punches.    I now tend to think of the writing here like I do dreams, I don't try to examine it too closely or hang onto it any more.
---

I usually "fast" during this time. I've been on a modified fast for a few weeks now, although I blew it on Valentine's day to take Amy and our youngest daughter out for steaks. Come to think of it, I blew it this morning when I brought home breakfast tacos for Amy's birthday. Yeah, I'm a big spender.

Oh get over it, I brought home flowers too.

Happy Birthday my love!

That brings up something from my "I should mention this on the blog" file, which admittedly is stuffed full of stuff I haven't mentioned.   I recently received a copy of "The Daniel Fast", a book by Susan Gregory.

Susan sent it to me with a nice note.

A couple of years ago I wrote about Susan who had contacted me about getting more traffic to her website.   That apparently worked out for her. She wrote a book and mentioned me in the acknowledgments.

Thanks Susan.

So that's an update of sorts... I know it's a little rambling. I hope, but am not promising, to write more during this season. As always I'm exploring my relationship with Christ, which is a daunting task.    I mean when something fails in that relationship it's pretty easy to figure out who to blame.

It's Sports Illustrated Day!

2010-02-10T07:24:00.000-06:00

The swimsuit edition of Sports Illustrated is arriving in mailboxes.

Oh...I get a different sports magazine.

Dirty Politics

2010-02-04T07:07:00.000-06:00

I've heard of politicians slinging mud.

This is the first political ad I've seen where the candidate has thrown dirt...from a graveyard.

Enjoy The Weekend

2010-01-22T03:48:00.000-06:00

I don't mean to startle you, but...um...well, I did receive this email today from "End Time Ministries."

Take note of the subject line.

Finally!

2010-01-18T03:05:00.000-06:00

Finally! Exactly what the world needs, an emoticon for sarcasm.

Why would you read this?

2010-01-13T14:40:00.000-06:00

I'm fairly sure by now that no one should be checking this site any longer...considering I haven't written anything here in months. However I suppose I should at least say Amy and I are fine. Life is fairly uneventful, which may be part of the reason I don't feel compelled to write here. The cynics out there might suggest another factor be considered...laziness. I won't dignify that by saying something like, "Ya think?"

To put rumors to rest, I have not accepted a job as the new late night host for NBC, none of our children have drifted away in a home made balloon.

It's simply been a quiet season.

Just us and, of course, Tiger.

Wag Your Tail

2009-11-17T06:18:00.000-06:00

Right F-Stop for an F-18

2009-11-09T06:51:00.002-06:00

My son-in-law took this shot of an F-18 "flirting with the sound barrier" at the Randolph Air Force Base Air Show on Sunday.

Pretty cool.

Presidential Dressing

2009-11-04T07:02:00.000-06:00

Sorry, this is not a recipe for some special White House stuffing for Thanksgiving...that would probably require more pork than I could stomach.
However I was relieved that in addition to no longer having to worry about car companies, banks, and health care...I can also now not have to worry about how to dress thanks to the President. Yes, I now get advice on how to dress from President Obama himself at a website called "Obama Weather"

This is today's suggested outfit for San Antonio.

Presumably that's for this morning, since it's supposed to hit 80 degrees this afternoon. I went to work this morning in a heavy shirt, jeans and flip flops...but I'm not a jacket type guy. If I were to be wearing a jacket and sweater this afternoon I'd probably keel over...something I am trying to avoid at least until free health care is available.

I must say the President appears to have better web fashion sense than Angelina Jolie, who can also provide clothing suggestions based on the daily forecast.

Personally, I tend to doubt you'd ever catch Ms. Jolie dressed in "frumpy chic" attire...then again, it's not like a guy wearing flip flops at the office is going to be forecasting fashion trends any time soon.

Dem Bones

2009-10-30T07:02:00.000-05:00

Stream of consciousness...

Okay, so I'm writing news this morning for some radio stations in the Rio Grande Valley and there's a story about a guy who was hauled in by the feds on allegations he was making grenades at his house...makes you want to get out and meet your neighbors huh? Anyway, authorities also say they found "human and animal" bones at his home along with a blood stained shrine. Charming.

So I'm expecting this is going to turn into another murder story when I discover that police say the suspect apparently bought many of the remains "legally over the Internet."

Yeah, I know nothing should surprise us about the Internet...but I really wasn't ready for:

Apparently this is not as ghoulish of an outfit as it sounds. They provide legitimate specimens for schools, museums and "collectors."

The Brownsville Monitor quotes the founder of Skulls Unlimited as saying they get their "inventory" from "wherever we can get a legal supply"...including road kills.

That's for animals...for people bones, the prime choice is apparently Asia where there is not as much of a stigma to selling your dead relative's remains.

The quote I really love is this one: "Every culture is different, it would be taboo to sell grandma."

That should be of some relief to the Grandmothers out there.

Oh...almost forgot. This is the company's advertised "Special."

Gives a new meaning to the idea of getting a head start on your Christmas shopping.

Happy Halloween.

Be Careful Where You Sit

2009-10-22T07:24:00.000-05:00

This may be the winner of the worst baby Halloween costume of 2009...

Really?

2009-10-19T10:06:00.001-05:00

Stream of consciousness....

I drive home on the backroads when I can...I mean I hit the highway and then at the first feasible chance I find a way to get home where I'm not going to be frustrated by traffic. Chalk it up to the fact that for more decades than I wish to count I've worked very early in the morning and the only thing I have contend with at that hour are drunks. I'm used to drunk drivers...I can't handle the maniacs in regular traffic.

So I'm driving home today on a little used road by our home called "Lookout." Amy and I have laughingly referred to it as "Lookout Mall" since it's usually strewn with crap folks have dumped for whatever reason: couches, mattresses, entire furniture sets, and Lord only knows what types of hazardous waste.

Today I had to swerve to miss a Christmas tree.

Today.

Today being October 19th.

I'm serious.

I am as much a procrastinator as the next guy, probably moreso but....IT'S OCTOBER! Someone just now is getting rid of their old dead Christmas tree?

They must live in a different reality.

I've decided "reality" is a subjective term...What's apparently real to me is not real to far more people than I wish to imagine, much less meet.

Yes, this idea was spawned by the realization that this nutjob "family" in Colorado apparently captured the media's attention (sorry I slept through that drama - if I can't fast forward past the commercials I don't watch it) by pretending their 6 year old kid was in some bogus weather balloon. All this in hopes of landing a contract for a "Reality" TV show.

Huh?

What reality are they in?

Are they in the reality that thinks the "Real" Housewives of____________ are ...."real" housewives?

I mean I never see these housewives taking out the trash or doing laundry or...well...being "real."

I've never seen them without make up much less making uncomfortable noises in the bathroom...not that I want to, I'm just sayin'....

My reality is not worth a sales pitch. That may change though, one day some network may actually pay me to videotape my seemingly senseless chore of washing three muddy dogs...that'll be compelling.

My reality is I have a dog that growls like Popeye...I'd post the video but in reality my SmartPhone is having a senior moment and I don't really want to sit here and figure it out.

My reality is I struggle to figure out why one car thinks the door is open when it rains and another decides the windows should stop working in wet weather ....Oh yeah, the windows only go down not up during thunderstorms.

My reality involves things like strange hairs growing in my ears faster than any other place on my body, and funky smells in the kitchen I can't seem to trace.

Pretending your kid is trapped in a makeshift duct-taped weather balloon? Wondering if you got the right return on your $100,000 dollar kitchen makeover? Having some commando come and redo your hair salon?

That's a different reality.

Time to face reality.
I'm never going to have a TV show.

A sitcom...well, that's a different story.

A Head Start On The Week

2009-10-19T06:55:00.001-05:00

Monday.

Everything seems fine.

Still something appears to be just not right.

Gotta get my head on straight.

(AP Photo/Matt Dunham)

Shoot

2009-10-14T06:28:00.000-05:00

The Mog Days Of Fall

2009-09-24T16:25:00.002-05:00

Fall arrived in South Texas exactly on schedule...I mean to the day.   It's cooler and it's wetter. We've actually had real rain, which is a blessing in almost every case...the exception being if your lawn has dried up and blown away during the past two years of drought and now your backyard is just dirt.

Rain + Dirt = Mud

Our smaller dogs, who are genetically inclined to be filthy, have it a little easier since they are a older, lazier and smaller.   Winston, whom we're convinced is mentally challenged to begin with, has decided not to venture off the remnants of concrete rubble we fondly refer to as our back porch.   This makes for some not so delightful surprises if you go outside barefoot without watching where you step.

Abby, who still has quite a bit of puppy vigor in her, hasn't quite figured out the rain plus dirt equation.   We can't really blame her, she's only seen rain a few times in her life.

However she's noticing the consequences.

She bounds outside and within a few seconds finds herself a little slower...a little heavier and much filthier.

Mud + Dogs =?

Several times each day she is now being transformed from a dog to a "mog'....half dog/half mud.

I suppose even when God blesses us there will always be days when we still must carry an extra load.

My eyes are ever on the Lord for only he will release my feet from the snare - Psalm 25:15

Taking The Plunge

2009-09-15T06:54:00.002-05:00

So these days I'm cranking out newscasts for a variety of radio stations, cities...states. I'm finding it interesting how many stories overlap...swine flu, cash for clunkers, health care...etc.

However, occasionally there are stories that are one of a kind...and for that you have to thank God

One such item appeared on the police blotter in Wichita, Kansas. Apparently police responded to a robbery call for a couple who were robbed amid the throes of passion...while in a dumpster.

These were not teens lacking a decent car back seat...the man and woman were in their 40's. However their hormones were apparently raging so rampantly that they trashed all sense of dignity and tossed themselves into a dumpster for what police describe as "an intimate moment."

Ah...romance.

Dumpster Susie, Dumpster Sam
Do the jitterbug out in Dumpster land
And they shimmy
And Sammy's so skinny

Alas, some uncouth bandits broke up the episode of lust in the dust (and goodness knows what else) by robbing the couple at knife point.

Police eventually caught the thieves and returned the couple's property....but that special moment...that one time refuse rendezvous ...that's something they can never get back...although I'm sure the memory will linger...until at least laundry day.

And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed
Singin' and jingin' the jango
Floatin' like the heavens above
It looks like dumpster love..

He's Not Looking...RUN!!

2009-09-03T07:55:00.004-05:00

We happen to have the chief spokesperson for San Antonio's Catholic Archdiocese hosting one of our radio station's morning show today - he used to be my boss, it's not like we drag Deacons off the street. I saw this photo in the Wall Street Journal and had to ask him if perhaps the Catholic church needed to work on some trust issues with the Dalai Lama...

Photo Credit:REUTERS/Pichi Chuang

I Know....I Know...But....Look That Way!

2009-09-02T17:43:00.004-05:00

Yeah, yeah...haven't written anything except Amy and I are sailing new seas metaphors...that's all going great. I've actually been tied up lately...well, on blogger, trying to design an old fashioned "web log" for work related purposes, but have been a little stymied by the workings of the web and the fact that I want the system to be very simple and somewhat idiot proof.

Anyway, in God's most efficient manner He's gifted me with the perfect distraction from working on this project and writing any more about how I'm not writing more.

Look! A baby picture!

Erin - the very first guest in our "Upper Room Ministry" - is living a new life as a Mom!

She and her husband Ron have new son! Kyler!

Welcome to the world Kyler! You're in wonderful hands!

From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another - John 1:16

Psalm 134 - The Song of Michael

2009-08-19T20:47:00.003-05:00

So this is God..I see Him here.
I see Him and I face my fear.
I pray that He will guide my way
Yet I hear Him say "This is YOUR day."
This is free will...or so it's said
Will I rise up from the dead?
What matter such thoughts as these?
When the Lord, my God...I pray to please.

selah

Yes. It's Too Hot To Type.

2009-08-08T08:59:00.004-05:00

Finally an excuse. A previous commenter asked if I had essentially succumbed to the heat. Well, that's a better excuse than I was thinking of which was, "I've been riveted to the CSPAN coverage of Sonya Sontomayor."

This is I believe day 43 where the temperature will top 100 degrees in San Antonio, and rain...well, I don't even remember rain.

That's not really any excuse, in truth I haven't been focused too much on writing these days outside of my office. I have been focused on primarily on being quiet, listening for direction, eliminating some things from our lives that were taking our lives in a direction that was not pleasing to us, and I'm sure not to God.

This has been a tough season, weather-wise and life-wise. However we're getting through it and we're on the right path. It has been a lonely path at times and will continue to be for a while. So there are still some hills to climb, perhaps some rough seas and there are some adjustments which require Amy and me to continue to focus...on Amy and me.

Plus, it is still hot as Hell.

Please know we're fine. We'll be better.

The dogs are fine...they'll never be better. I've resigned myself to the fact that we attract psychologically damaged dogs.

The job is fine, better than it has been in a while, and I have nothing to complain about, which may also have resulted in a bit of writer's block since complaining is always a good way to start my writing juices.

There are better times ahead. I will write more, but some chapters of this stage of our lives are best held close to the vest...for now.

Amy and I are looking ahead...and seeing wonderful things to come.

The rough seas behind us, thanks entirely to God's grace.

Net Side Story

2009-07-19T14:49:00.002-05:00

I truly loved this...

In God We Trust....

2009-07-09T07:36:00.001-05:00

From the Denton Record Chronicle:

A man commissioned a tattoo artist to imprint "Only God can judge me" on his upper arm Monday and then left without paying, the victim told Denton police.
The tattoo artist said the man came in to the shop in the 200 block of West University Drive with some friends and asked for the motto along with the image of praying hands.
The artist completed the work and asked for $200, according to the report. The man handed over a credit card, but the charge was declined by the credit card company. The man waited in the front of the store for a bit with his friends, and the friends slipped away.
Then the man ran out of the store, according to the report.

----

The tattoo parlor's new policy: "In God we trust...all others pay cash."

The Music Of Your Life

2009-06-28T08:46:00.005-05:00

I had the opportunity last night to watch an "Elvis" impersonator. I mean...in person...and not at gunpoint.

For the record I didn't pay for the experience nor did I take advantage of the offers to have my photo taken with the impersonator for $5.00.

He actually was very entertaining. This impersonator and his entourage are known as Michael Albert and the Big "E" Band.

I've heard it said, and I tend to believe, that most of us identify with the music from our high school years. Whatever we listened to during those years is the type of music we associate with the best times of our lives, even though I suspect high school would not rate as the best time in most of our lives by any means.

Elvis' popularity peaked (at least on the music charts - in general terms it could be debated he might be even more popular today) before my high school era and my music tastes - or at least the types of music I am most familiar with and link to the "good times" in my life - are from the early 70's to early 80's.

Not that I didn't occasionally listen to Elvis music - and I still do today.

Elvis impersonators are a different story. Michael Albert is the first Elvis impersonator I've ever gone to see "live."

I was struck by a couple of things during his performance and make no mistake he put on a very fine performance. He's not a dead ringer for Elvis, in fact I'm sure when he removes the white, rhinestone covered pants suit and the over the top black wig with sideburns, he can probably go just about anywhere without anyone thinking he's "Elvis." However on stage he did demonstrate the same type of charisma, he knows how to work the crowd, and appeal to his core audience while entertaining those of us who were not quite as enamored with Elvis or his legacy. However make no mistake if you truly want to enjoy the full show of an Elvis impersonator, you need to watch more than the performance. Such events, at least to me, are much like watching professional wrestling...if you aren't spending as much time observing the audience then you are missing a major component of the show.

There were people a decade or three older than myself who were swaying in their seats, many were mouthing or singing the words to songs which I had never heard performed before - by Elvis or anyone else. In fact I initially thought that I might be watching the only Elvis impersonator who specialized in doing the "B" side of Elvis singles. However he eventually started singing a few more songs with which I was familiar...and the crowd ate it up even more.

I didn't stick around for the whole act...or even the entire first half of the program. Still what I did watch was entertaining, and some of the elder members of my family stayed for the whole show and seemingly loved it.

As I left I couldn't help but wonder if in 10 or 15 or 30 years this same auditorium might be packed with folks watching a similar program. A "tribute" act to a musician representative of a time in their lives when the healing power of our memories eventually tilted life's ration of good times to outweigh the bad.

I would feel equally out of place since that entertainer also reached his peak at a time outside of the most influential musical era for me.

Like Elvis though, he was a musician who had a lot of imitators when he was alive and who died too young and too suddenly.

Both were pioneers.

It will be interesting to see if Michael Jackson's legacy will include a "tribute industry."

Time will tell.

However if there are Michael Jackson impersonators working the circuit in 15 or 20 years...take my advice...try to catch the show...and remember to watch all the participants, including the folks in the seats in front of you.

If nothing else, I think you may have a better understanding of the cliche "larger than life."

The Business End

2009-06-25T15:35:00.004-05:00

"Have you done your business?"

That's a euphemism at our house when dealing with our dogs, usually when we don't have the patience to deal with them much longer.
Amy or I will often try to hurry the dogs along so we can put them in the house after we're certain they've eaten their most recent meal. However before we can be certain that they won't intrude upon our sleep or other highly important project by whining, or howling or suddenly barking incessantly (their three individual ways of communicating with us) we've been trained to make sure they've taken care of their basic digestive functions. Thus we'll often stand around on the patio asking, "Have you done your business?"
Or encouraging, "Hurry up! Be good dogs. Go do your business!"
If our patience is wearing be bit thin - we may be more demanding, "GO DO YOUR #%*!( BUSINESS!"

Except for our dogs and possibly my physician, I do not willingly have discussions with anyone regarding the "business" side of life, albeit I have been roped into some conversations about babies where this topic seems to be appropriate and for some, the source of great glee. I usually try to get out of those discussions post haste.

All of us have our personal boundaries and one of mine is that I also really don't want to discuss anything while "taking care" of my own business.

At home, this is not really an issue. I mean when the kids were young, they might wander by the "reading" room and I'd hear someone mutter, "Gross!" and during my college days I had a roommate who was fond of remarking as he passed by occupied facilities, "Whooa! Somethin' crawl up inside ya and die?"

Without exception, I've always considered such comments to be rhetorical rather than actual conversation starters.

On occasion at my office I've found myself trapped "mid-business" when someone, whose identity I can often only try to guess by their shoes, will park themselves right "next door" and begin conversing. I believe these type of people do not care with whom they are striking up a dialog, they are happy simply to have a captive audience.

I realize many people have differing views about how manners/propriety/personal hygiene and other matters come into play when it comes to this topic. Let me make one thing clear: I don't care what you think about the topic. I do not wish to discuss your thoughts and most certainly I don't want to hear your thoughts, or anything else emanating from you, during the actual course of "business."

So, when confronted by such situations it is my policy to completely ignore the other person except to study their shoes as closely as possible so I can avoid them in the future. I also make a mental reminder to always try to use our company's "same sex" facility since it is not designed to be shared while in use. Should a conversation erupt in that room, it would be symptomatic of a larger problem... or certainly the fodder for a rather lurid office scandal.

Considering my personal policy, my writing about this topic must seem a bit odd to some of you...actually I would hope it seems strange to all of you.

Not to worry...blame DFW airport.

Amy and I were at DFW yesterday waiting for our flight when I decided to take advantage of one of the few, if not the only, things at that immense and lavish travel hub that doesn't require you to possess either an amazing amount of cash or a credit score on par with that of a pre-stock market crash Bill Gates.

The Mens room.

So I asked Amy not to let the our plane leave without me and then boarded a tram, rode the moving walkways, zipped up an escalator, two or three stairwells, bypassed sixteen or seventeen 5-star restaurants as well as the only Taco Bell on earth where a taco costs more than many small cars, and I finally arrived.

I knew, of course, that should I need to "attend to business" during our upcoming flight I wouldn't be bothered by someone striking up a conversation "mid business." However that benefit could not outweigh memories of the untold number of unpleasant past experiences with on board aircraft facilities. The fact is I knew that in flight I would be risking all of the disgusting prospects presented by what can generously only be described as an "airborne Port-o-Potty" - only less spacious than the ground versions and apparently designed by the same folks responsible for the amenities which brought fame to the Hanoi Hilton. Although I will concede that it took me a while to understand that not having the ability to actually inhale while inside aircraft restrooms should indeed be considered a plus.

Also I didn't realize that an airport the size of DFW apparently has a strict policy of no more than one restroom every six or seven miles.

Anyway, as is the case in most airport facilities, the people using them tend not to break into spontaneous conversations with one another, since no one knows anyone else. This obviously is fine with me...I think it should be the law everywhere.

Also, to put this delicately, the nature of my particular "business" at that moment was such that it could be done while standing, so to speak. Therefore I wasn't running the risk of being trapped next to some chatty guy while worrying that DFW Airport might institute a "pay as you go" policy while I was seated.

So, after recovering from the journey that's required to actually reach the Mens room, I entered with little or no concern.

I selected one of 4672 available places of "business" set aside for standing clientele and was occupying my thoughts by trying to remember the course I'd need to take to get out of the restroom, not to mention directions to the gate where Amy was still waiting, when my thoughts were suddenly interrupted:

"So, let me tell ya! This is BIG! I mean it's HUGE! Giant I tell ya! You really need to meet me so you can personally SEE the size of this deal!"

It was a very loud voice and every word resonated thanks to the fact the walls were all covered by an elaborate display of hand carved marble tiles each of which was I believe individually selected and flown back to DFW on separate aircraft paid for by the profits from the airport's Orange Julius stand.

I couldn't discern the speaker's precise location, but I knew he was behind me and in a seated position amid the 4682 places set aside for clientele of that nature.

"Joe....I'm tellin' you...this is something you will want to see to believe! Get on a plane now!"

I was somewhat amused but also cursing my imagination for conjuring up any number of distasteful images as a result of this guy's desire to make sure everyone at the airport (and possibly all of Texas) could hear every word he was hollering into what I now realized was a cell phone. I was starting to feel a bit relieved that at least the echoing gibbering fool was not making a sales pitch to some poor schmoe helplessly locked in the next enclosed seating area when I heard:

"AAAAAGGGGH CCCCCHHLLLAAACK! PPPTTTTOOOEY!!"
"AAAAAGGGGH CCCCCHHLLLAAACK! PPPTTTTOOOEY!!"
"AAAAAGGGGH CCCCCHHLLLAAACK! PPPTTTTOOOEY!!"

Mercifully my mind could not react quick enough to incorporate that sudden addition to this sickening serenade with the previously conjured images I was still processing..

"Honestly, if you miss out on this opportunity fella, yer gonna feel like...."

"AAAAAGGGGH CCCCCHHLLLAAACK! PPPTTTTOOOEY!!"
"AAAAAGGGGH CCCCCHHLLLAAACK! PPPTTTTOOOEY!!"
"AAAAAGGGGH CCCCCHHLLLAAACK! PPPTTTTOOOEY!!"

"Noise? What nois....Oh! Ya know what that is Joe? That's the sound of the last guy who passed up on seeing this thing Joe..."

"AAAAAGGGGH CCCCCHHLLLAAACK! PPPTTTTOOOEY!!"
"AAAAAGGGGH CCCCCHHLLLAAACK! PPPTTTTOOOEY!!""
AAAAAGGGGH CCCCCHHLLLAAACK! PPPTTTTOOOEY!!"

"I'm tellin' you it's unbelievable..."

"AAAAAGGGGH CCCCCHHLLLAAACK! PPPTTTTOOOEY!!"
"AAAAAGGGGH CCCCCHHLLLAAACK! PPPTTTTOOOEY!!"

"AAAAAGGGGH CCCCCHHLLLAAACK! AAAAAARRRRR.... "

I'm not certain how long it continued...too long I know. One guy talking and another apparent half man/half giant cat trying to extricate a giant hairball....behind closed doors, but certainly not in private.

All I can remember from that point is running by 3893 wash basins designed to remain untouched by human hands which all simultaneously began spewing water.

I was well on my way down the first flight or two of stairs while still hearing the whir of hundreds of automated towel dispensers as they each churned out a precisely measure piece of paper towel scientifically determined to be exactly enough to be of no use if you actually wanted to dry anything....but I wasn't moving fast enough to out run the haunting echo...

"Joe??? Joe?"

"AAAAAGGGGH CCCCCHHLLLAAACK! PPPTTTTOOOEY!!"
"AAAAAGGGGH CCCCCHHLLLAAACK! PPPTTTTOOOEY!!""
AAAAAGGGGH CCCCCHHLLLAAACK! PPPTTTTOOOEY!!"

"Joe!! This deal will make you flush I tell ya!!"

When I finally made it back to where Amy was still seated - on the rich Corinthian leather lounge chairs provided at no cost, unless you want to look out the window - she gave me a curious look. I couldn't bring myself to tell her of the horror.

Instead I simply said, "This is no place to do business."