The Main Point - By Michael Main - MichaelMain.com

Daze Of Joy And Madness

2008-05-16T13:27:00.005-05:00

It's been a long week...a long month or perhaps year, although this week the frenzy seems to have swallowed me. Of course the Spurs games starting so late (I had to cheer for the Lakers last night only because that means Monday's Spurs game will start at a decent hour) have wreaked havoc upon what little bit of a schedule I've tried to maintain. I'm not alone, most San Antonio residents are wobbling around somewhat like zombies who've taken too many rides on a roller coaster. I suppose I blend in.

There have been far more important things to deal with than the Spurs...yes, sometimes I have perspective.

Amy's Dad, Bernie, suffered what we now believe was very mild stroke. I swear Bernie will outlive me, he's far more energetic, his mind is sharper and were I to actually wager him on the prospects he'd likely stay "above room temperature" simply to prove a point. There's a slight (ahem) competitive streak which a number (read that all) of his descendants have inherited. Bernie's doing better, I'll see him in a month or so when he will bear witness to weddings of two of his grandsons...one of whom is my stepson.

Still the initial word sparked a great deal of worry and prayer...and some reflection.

This morning, Amy and I will drive up the road to Waco to see our youngest child, my step-daughter Lisa, graduate from Baylor. She's well on her way to becoming an Assistant Band Director, possibly for the high school from which she seemed to graduate only yesterday.

She's in love too.

Young, in love, a grown woman with a new world before her...and yet perhaps not often enough, I still see her as the little girl who giggled so much it made me giggle with delight.

Sadly, 90 or so miles north of Waco and only a few hours before Lisa walks the stage, my cousin, Michelle, will be laid to rest. I never really knew Michelle. She was a beauty and although I am only days older and we lived within miles of each other when I was a teen, her world was a different place than the one I inhabited. There's no judgment there, I didn't want to be part of the Dallas social scene, and it's a good bet Michelle didn't want to even be seen with the long-haired dreg I was at the time.

Still I remember a gorgeous young girl whose beauty obviously stayed with her.

She died at 50, missing out on something her sister tells me she was so looking forward to...seeing her 17 year old daughter graduate early from high school...a child I've never met.

So it was providential I suppose yesterday when Amy retrieved the mail and handed me the graduation announcement for my middle brother's daughter, Chelsea.

Yes, I'm struck by the resemblance too. I'm more struck by the realization that I don't know Chelsea as well as I should.

I plan to change that, and maybe get to know my cousin Michelle's daughter if I get the chance as well.

Life changes...sometimes too fast...but it's never too late to change with it.

He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever He does prospers. Psalm 1:3

It's Sad How Much I Enjoy This

2008-05-01T02:21:00.002-05:00

Pull Of Life

2008-04-27T14:00:00.010-05:00

I suppose I should post something here since that last post could leave folks a little depressed.

Life is good...we have some challenges, but we're confronting them and otherwise I'm really too busy for "leisure writing." Work...the Spurs...trying to start some new ventures...the Spurs...dealing with some car issues which I don't want to dwell upon except to pass along the advice that if you loan someone your car, and it blows up...I'd suggest you not let the same person choose "their mechanic friend" to "fix it."

One of our "Upper Room Ministry" guests, who has since disappeared, let his mechanic friends "work" on my car. After giving these friends several hundred dollars I finally found the remnants of the car and had it towed back home. Not sure if it's reparable but at least I have possession of it. Occasionally the chief "mechanic" on the team I refer to as "Drunk and Drunker" drops by and says he's working on it. I see an oil slick on my driveway. Amy swears she's actually seen him at least once working on the car.

One of our other upper room ministry guests is apparently here for the long haul. It's not like we could throw her out...not with a face like this.

That's Gabby...or Gypsy or Shiloh, depending on who is claiming ownership of her. It appears our steady and "stable" upper room guest "Scott" is going to keep her, which is probably the best thing for her. If not, I'm assuming she'll just become part of the household. She's only a few months old, and her heritage is subject to some debate.

I think her face looks like there's Irish Wolfhound in her, which may make me rethink my sanity (not something I need to do, believe me) but Scott think she's terrier, and maybe part lab. She doesn't seem to be growing too much, although the size of her feet do scare me a bit. This photo doesn't adequately show the paws size in relation to Gabby's body...but suffice it say, they are still a little large for her general stature.

As we wait to see how big she grows, she's providing a lot of entertainment for all of us, and in truth is probably the best behaved dog in the house. Winston and Avery have grown accustomed to her and she's learning how to deal with their possessive quirks...she outruns them.

She's also learning not to be intimidated, as demonstrated by the short quickly produced video below with which I'll leave you because...the Spurs are about to play.

Go Spurs!

Delivered

2008-04-06T13:17:00.007-05:00

I wasn't in the best place, the why, when and where questions although germane are not critical. Suffice it to say I was drained. Physically I was sick, hacking with a lingering respiratory invasion, and my body already rebelling from spending several hours walking in an unplanned emotion- and anger-driven march. A steady drizzle added to my already clammy state. It wasn't enough rain for people driving by to think I was crazy for walking in it, but it was enough to add to my misery. As my legs sagged, my cough worsened and my mind struggled to recall the old comic strip with the character who had a perpetual rain cloud about his head...

It wasn't only physical, I was emotionally, financially and most importantly spiritually spent.

I had left home in the same dreary drizzle the night previous, on foot in a stew of self-pity, sleep deprivation and solitude seasoned with healthy doses of anger, self-loathing and occasional sprinkles of near suicidal thoughts. The time away did little to cheer my mood or comfort my fatigued body. My soul had thrown in the towel. I was trudging back home because I had no other place to go, and believe me I tried to think of one, but it was senseless. Unless I wanted to chuck it all, everything in my life, family, job, money, career and my future, I had to eventually get home.

It wasn't easy and as I limped past a car rental place my mind scurried with the scoundrels of escape. "Rent a car, max out a credit card and wherever you land...you start new." The whispers were real as was the temptation, but I don't run away, I may shove people away but I don't run from them.

Besides if anything my night away had proven it was that I was no better for it - probably worse. My feet were swelling, I was still feverish, and I was "ripe" having not even brought a change of clothes with me. I was ill prepared to go to Sonic much less "off the grid."

I had walked a couple of miles when I realized I couldn't make it the rest of the way. My legs were giving out, my lungs ached, my feet were begging for relief and clearly announcing that no option that provided such would be rejected, quite possibly including self-amputation.

I was a mess.

I was alone.

I'd been doing it too long, carrying too much, trying too hard, sleeping too little, eating too sporadically, and trying so hard to hold it all together. I was falling apart.

Worse yet, I'd become so accustomed to never asking for help from anyone that when I needed help I didn't know anyone to call.

Sure, I could call this guy or that guy about the only two people on earth who I truly know would drop everything if I called them these days, but they didn't need my burdens and it would take them longer to come get me than it would for me to tough it out and hoof it home.

So I sat...in the gutter. Actually more of a drainage ditch... a culvert I suppose. I was sitting on the edge but I might as well have been prostrate in the sludge below, I was feeling like crap anyway.

I was talking to God...or maybe just to myself or the wind, who knows? I wasn't sure any more which depressed me further. I couldn't go on like this, I wasn't sure I could even stand up and I didn't want to die on the side of a drainage ditch...I didn't...sometimes I had to repeat that to myself or to the wind or to God...maybe.

I hadn't seen Darnell for I don't know how long. He had been the postal carrier in our neighborhood for years and he and I would regularly talk. He was a devout Christian but had not always been so and we shared war stories of God's battles for our hearts. He was a regular part of my life, not deeply involved, we weren't "friends" so to speak, but we were constants in each other's lives. My schedule coincided with his route and more often than not if we didn't talk almost every day, we exchanged waves or honks of the car horn.

Then he was gone. I knew he was unhappy with some things at the Postal Service and I wondered if he had finally said, "I've done my time, I'll take my pension please."

I wouldn't be surprised were that to be the case. Weeks passed, then months and soon we had a new postal carrier who wasn't "new" any more. He'd been on the job for a year or more. He knows our names, I don't know his. He's not as outwardly friendly as Darnell. He's younger whereas Darnell is around my age although having a job where he actually gets to walk around a bit, go outdoors and be in the sun, he's in better shape, not that that's saying much. In any case, time hasn't left as many outward signs upon him as it has etched upon me.

Darnell was quite possibly the farthest thing from my mind that day.

I took a quick evaluation of my situation. I was dirty, tired, sweating and limping but I had to get up and get moving because by my calculations the odds seemed to be rapidly increasing with each passing minute that my obit would be headlined, "Road kill turns out to be remnants of human."

I was hacking and wiping sweat from my eyes when there it was making an illegal U-turn in the middle of the street...a mail truck. Seconds later Darnell was pulling up along side me saying, "Michael? You don't look well. You okay?"

I thought, "Dear God, I'm freakin' hallucinating, my fever must be through the roof."

Here I was at a point I had never been, a depth of despair and doubt I never foresaw myself falling toward and now Darnell reappears out of nowhere at this exact moment?

"Michael?? Are you okay? You really look sick and you're a little off course from your usual walking path."

It had been years since I walked the neighborhood every day and Darnell was certainly familiar with not only the neighborhood but my walking patterns...when I used to adhere to them.

"It's been a rough 24 hours...I don't have the strength to explain, but where did you come from? I haven't seen you in forever!" I rasped trying not to sound near as horrible as I felt.

"Wrestling demons." That was all he said, and it took me a while to realize he wasn't responding to my question.

He was tersely summing up my situation.

"Let me give you a ride home."

I looked at his postal vehicle, there was only one seat and he was in it...the rest of the truck was stuffed to the rafters with mail. I said, "Doesn't look like you really have room."

He then slid open one of the side doors and said, "There's room if you stand on the running board and are strong enough to hang on. It's illegal, and I could get fired, but hop on."

Seeing Darnell made me feel more alive and I knew there weren't going to be any other offers of a ride. Plus if I turned down this offer it wasn't inconceivable to me that somehow my feet might find a way to strangle me.

I stepped onto the running board, leaned back and gripped the door handle tightly. Seconds later we were zipping down the street.

We didn't share any more words except the admonishment from Darnell, "If anyone says they saw me doing this I'll deny it."

Within minutes he had brought me right to my front door. He didn't need to be reminded where I lived, and he didn't need to know why I was in a different "place" on this particular day. He just knew what he had to do.

"Get some rest," he said as I stepped down from the running board and thanked him while trying not to grimace as my feet reminded me that even the few steps to reach the front door weren't going to be easy. I couldn't imagine how I would have made it home on foot or how long it would have taken me.

"One day, I'll explain this to you Darnell, but believe me seeing you today is a major blessing."

"I'm glad I saw you, although 'officially' I was never here."

He closed the door and then drove away somewhat stealthily, like a gang member knowing he was on the wrong turf.

I stumbled into the house, directly into bed.

I whispered a few words to God, definitely God, before I fell into a deep sleep.

"Oh Lord, forgive me. I should never have let it get this far. I should have reached out to You more, rolled these burdens into Your waiting hands. You can have them now. I'm going to get the rest I need. I will get perspective back. I promise."

"Oh, and thank you Father for Darnell. Your message couldn't have been more clear had it been etched on stone tablets. I'm so grateful for Your grace... I'm so undeserving of it too.

Especially a special delivery."

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*This is a work of fiction lest anyone be confused, or the Postal Inspector go looking for Darnell.

I'm First in Line

2008-04-01T03:38:00.004-05:00

Could there be a better way to start your day>?

Get up and get going...with the new Spazztroids hyper caffeinated cereal!

180 milligrams of caffeine per bowl!

Hey! I'd go for it...from Captain Crunch to Captain Buzz.

It's from the folks at ThinkGeek.

They do this every year.

On this day.

April 1st.

Caught on yet?

Whew...lil' slow on the uptake...you might could really use some Spazztroids...I'm just sayin'...

At least you didn't buy their beta-max to HD-DVD converter.

No joke...NCAA Men's Final Four Hotel rooms are still available!

Inside Stuff

2008-03-31T21:00:00.002-05:00

I can't add anything to this...it's not allowed anymore.

But there was a time when "Radio News" was something you couldn't turn off.

(((Warning this is no longer politically correct))

P.S. Final Four Hotel Rooms Here!

Yeah, I have no shame....20/20 blogging :)

Final Four Madness

2008-03-28T03:10:00.005-05:00

The final four tourney is about to descend on San Antonio which means I'm getting flooded with NCAA� 2008 Men's Tournament information. The big worry in San Antonio is whether the giant new convention center Hyatt hotel will be actually finished in time. They say it's ready, but you get the impression that if a few guests reach for the shower faucet and it comes off in their hands, no one will be shocked...except maybe the guest paying a gazillion dollars for the room.

(((Warning blatant plug coming)))

Of course, folks looking for last minute hotels for the Final Four� should realize that if they book a room in Universal City, Selma, Schertz, New Braunfels or any other nearby town, they'll still be 15 to 30 miles or less from the Alamodome and their hotel rates will be far less. Heck, you could even stay south of town in Lytle and then head for the coast after the games. Spring Break is in full swing, if that's your cup o' tea (although tea is not usually what's being served). Yes, there are plenty of available rooms for the Final Four. Just wanted to make sure anyone looking for a "last minute final four hotel" didn't think they'd missed out.

(((Blatant commercial plug now ending)))

Anyway, one interesting fact: They put down the "floor" for the games at the Alamodome yesterday. Did you know they only use wood from trees grown north of the 38th parallel for the court? It's true. Maybe I'll tell you why later, when I have time to post more insightful ~~blatant plugs~~ information.

In the interim:

This time lapsed video of the floor installation in Atlanta is sort of cool.

Talking The Talk

2008-03-24T04:44:00.002-05:00

So, I was looking up some translations this morning and ran across this guy.

He speaks too.

Of course if you don't speak Spanish you don't know what he's saying...

This is the English reverse translation of what I originally typed...but I had to modify it after realizing that it lost a lot in the translation.

Speaking of not perfect. A preacher near Fort Worth is offering you a chance to win a new vehicle if you'll listen to his three minute testimony, and hopefully be convinced in those three minutes to give your life to Christ.

Personally, I've always said whatever gets you right with God works for me, but I sort of wonder if the promise of eternal life in God's kingdom isn't "bait" enough. Winning a car seems a little earthly doesn't it?

Then again, this Pastor's ministry has dabbled in the unusual before. I think he's the same guy who offered people at a rodeo who listened to his testimony free rides on a mechanical bull.

The drawing for the car is being overseen by the law firm of:

Whitaker, Chalk, Swindle and Sawyer.

Sometimes, you just have to write it and leave it up to interpretation.

Easter

2008-03-23T07:49:00.003-05:00

He is Risen!

Easter 2008.

The house is quiet and my goal is for us to make it to the 9 a.m. church service. My reality tells me that's unlikely.

We haven't been the best at rallying for church lately and so I figure if we make the 11 a.m. service I won't complain.

We have three people, and I think one dog, now living in our 'upper room ministry.' One of those folks, all unrelated except by circumstance and work projects (and in the case of the dog, by species), "might" join us today at church. I would think it's a long shot to believe any of the other "humans" will make it - the dog, Gypsy or Gabby depending on who is calling her name, I'm sure would be eager to come along, and possibly be the best behaved among the bunch...but getting this group organized and ready to do almost anything is a lot like herding cats.

How we went from an empty nest to a full house is a story I've yet to figure out completely. I'm really not certain I need to know the "how" anyway...as long as I'm still comfortable with the "why" and the "Who."

Sometimes you open your doors to a brilliant day, sunshine and Easter eggs.

Sometimes we open our doors to other surprises. In each case, I find it best to leave the details to God.

This is the way He works.

At least in my life.

As soon as I opened the door to Him, He was the first one to enter.

He's made Himself at home, despite our failings, our moments of frail faith...our time challenges, and our apparent tendency toward trust bordering on lunacy.

He is a merciful and patient God.

He is alive!

We're driving forward.

He is Risen!

I better start the coffee aroma wafting around the house if I expect anyone else to rise this morning though.

God bless you. Praise God for His mercies and His message.

You can be reborn, remade, resurrected!

Open the door.

Offend? Moi?

2008-03-18T09:08:00.005-05:00

"Do I offend?" - Pepe Le Pew

Please don't take offense.

These images are from a "college humor" website.

Seriously, if you can't be silly when you're a kid...when can you be?

Okay, I suppose my posting this makes the point that you can be silly in your 50's too.

Anyway I am old enough to have edited out some of the images which were guaranteed to offend. I may be young at heart, but I'm in a slightly wiser "wineskin."

Of course, there are folks who will become fixated...they won't budge in their opinions, nor lighten up. They're just sort of stuck in their beliefs about this sort of thing.

But I don't believe there's much sense in washing our hands of everyone who offends us.

Maybe it's because I remember doing a lot of silly, stupid and probably offensive things. As I aged, I saw things differently.

I think once in a while - not always - remembering the dark days of your past is an excellent way to shed light on the path you should take in the future.

P.S.

If I did offend you, my apologies. Please click here, I'm sure this website will not disturb you theologically, morally or mentally.

I Bet You'll 'Rish You Didn't See This

2008-03-13T17:27:00.016-05:00

I've been so busy lately, odds are I won't be posting anything before St. Patrick's Day, so I figured this was as good of a time as any...besides I found a website that let me make this goofy little display.

Actually, while working on some personal business websites and learning that I'm a lousy basic web designer, especially when I'm rushed, I've also been trying to learn more about using Shockwave flash with marginal success.

So I took some liberties with the code in the video below...removing a good chunk of it which is not really kosher..although I don't think the Irish are too concerned about being kosher in the culinary sense of the word.

In any case, I'm rationalizing my butchering in a number of ways, including that they have nothing on their website saying you shouldn't tinker with their product. Plus I've produced a radio feature about this little widget maker and their website for use on St. Patrick's day....and trust me, that will get more attention than my blog.

Okay, I still feel guilty. So before I go any further, this is the link to their site, where you can make your own goofy blatant plug for Irish Spring.

I will warn you that the most difficult part is not choosing what you're going to look like...

Although that is pretty scary...I found the hardest aspect was trying to work out a speech pattern, which you'll see or hear if I ever stop typing.

I think I'll do that now...

It's not like anything I write is going to make it any better.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!
====

(((Post Script)) - Sorry, but the little video keeps making noise and there's apparently no way to turn it off....

Well there is one way.

Which is why the little video is gone.

Happy Palm Sunday!

=======
P.S.S. - I ~~think~~ THOUGHT they caught on and turned off the non-stop gurgling which runs even if this video promotion isn't running. So I took a risk worthy of St. Patrick - not really sure what that constitutes in this day an age, drivin' out snakes, or drinking green beer from a dirty glass. In any case, here's another silly time waster, my apologies in advance..

PSSSS

Okay, sorry. Hope you saw it. Not sure anyone sees anything here anymore. But I couldn't get it to stop making a bubbling sounds....CONSTANTLY. So, it's gone.

If you want to punish yourself...you can still see it here. As you'll note I put a lot of effort into putting up the website.

Guess it's my Irish temper.

"May the Irish hills caress you. May her lakes and rivers bless you. May the luck of the Irish enfold you. May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you."

Swurfp's Up and Other Chemistractions

2008-03-03T10:34:00.009-06:00

After spending all of my time at the computer lately actually doing work type stuff, or learning how to do work type stuff, I know I need to stop for a bit. I need a distraction, which luckily I've found thanks to Wired.

It's a list of 10 Amazing Chemistry videos although a few of them I'm not exactly amazed by. Don't get me wrong, they are interesting, but they have that chemigeek aura which evokes memories of "homework" (not that I ever took chemistry) which in turn reminds me of the work I should be doing. You might not be able to follow my thinking - not to worry, you're hardly the first - but suffice it to say I'm guilty of skimming through a couple.

First off, before you see the origin of the image below, what's it look like to you?

No, it's not the Virgin Mary - well, at least no one is claiming it to be as far as I know, but then again I only now posted it - and don't put too much pressure on yourself, there is no "right" answer. It's subjective...and face it, it's not like anyone is going to hear your answer anyway.

I'll go first...to me it looks like a swan...or a Smurf...or one of those rubbery non-biodegradable Easter candies...um...[Pause for a 'Senior moment']...oh yeah, Peeps�. I'm opting for a blend of all the above and calling it a "swurfp."

As you'll see, it's neither edible or something you'll want your kids to handle much less eat. It also doesn't have the staying power of a "Peep�" although admittedly, beyond uranium by-products, I'm not certain if anything does...

Presenting:the Swurfp

So by now you've either gone back to work or you're curious as to the swurfp's origins. I'm not going to think too much about which camp you've chosen. Therefore, keeping with the theme of distraction - here's the video:

Cool huh? As I mentioned, Wired has 10 videos you can check out, I'm only pirating one more which I think fits my "theme." Well, it's at least at the same basic level as swurfpism in that it involves something sort of cute which we associate with kids, or perhaps your inner child - a little red Gummi bear.

Harmless, innocent... at least upon entry to our digestive systems, I'm not so sure how our bodies deal with our gobbling down dye infused quasi-edible rubber stuff, but I do know that in the following chemistry video one red Gummi bear is...transgummed. I don't want to spoil it, but he definitely loses steam in the cute and edible departments.

The video speaks for itself but for the chemigeeks amongst us, the ingredients at play are one red Gummi bear and a mixture of oxygen, chlorine and potassium. That sounds innocent - not Gummi bear innocent - but nothing to spark gummimania. You chemigeeks surely already realize this, but for my fellow chemistracation depribates allow me to explain that the trio of oxygen chlorine and potassium can be combined into what's known as potassium chlorate.

Yes, you do too know it, you just don't know you know it. You probably have used potassium chlorate lots of times in your life, it's in disinfecting agents, "safety" matches, and...um...fireworks.

Further elaboration seems unnecessary, so...as they say in Hollywood and no doubt in highly lit storage units rented by low budget pornographers,"Let's roll the video!"

Goodbye Gummi! I'm getting all misty...then again so did Gummi.

I don't know if the teacher responsible for the gumminnihilation was wearing goggles or a mask to prevent breathing in the gummigas - nor do I know if gummifumes are hazardous although since potassium chlorate is an ingredient in matches and fireworks, I imagine simply the gummivaporative odors merit some prophylactic filtration.

The video does clearly show the little red Gummi bear's fumifier is not wearing gloves, which doesn't seem like a good idea to me. Then again, I never studied chemistry.

I actually am fairly well versed in English and yet amid my frenzy of fictitious phraseology who am I to criticize the practices of a gummicutioner?

Obviously I'm a borderline bacchanalian entymologesiac, and borderline probably isn't the right word.

I should have stopped at Swurfp...but then I wouldn't have distracted you this long...

Where's the humoriversion in that?

Final Four Hotel Rooms - Still Available!

2008-03-02T21:43:00.006-06:00

Plenty of room at the inn...

Are there still rooms available for the NCAA Final Four?

Open hotel rooms for the NCAA Tourney?

Final Four hotels?

Anyone asking you those questions...probably not, I just put them in there to play with search engine algorithms.

You see, this is a blatant plug.
I'd apologize, but we live in a capitalist society.

Google will search my blog faster than any website I can put up.

Pardon the interruption but I wanted to get this in to answer those folks needing Final Four lodging.

The are plenty of available rooms for the 2008 Men's NCAA Final Four in San Antonio.

You need to remember that there are a dozen or more cities within 30 minutes of downtown San Antonio, where the NCAA Final Four rooms are less expensive and plentiful!

Hey, I've been working on this stuff during every free moment, and plan to for the foreseeable future. As a wise man once told me, "If you're not going to promote yourself, who is?"

So think of it as sort of like financially motivated blog Tourette's...once in a while I'll just spout something that seemingly makes no sense. Of course, the argument could be made that this is not a new phenomena...

Inexpensive rooms available for the Final Four!

Procrastination, Priorities, and Pickles

2008-02-27T13:11:00.004-06:00

Yes, I am still alive.
Yes, Amy is still alive.
No, we have not had any sudden tragedy resulting in me not posting here.

Thought I'd get that out of the way right off the top. I know I've been ignoring the blog and I could give all sorts of reasons, but it would sound like whining for the most part so why bother?

I have been busy trying to get some things accomplished in our "business life" and when I sit a the computer I really can't justify procrastinating on those matters by blogging, as much as I'd like to...and believe me I'm pretty good at rationalizing. The things I want to do need to get done, and I have to get over and around some learning curves along the way.

However the "Are you alive?" emails do start to pile up, so I figured I'd better let the 3 or 4 people who still visit here to find the answer to that question know that we're not below room temperature.

There's been no "sudden" major change in our basic life situation. No one's in jail, rehab, or the rubber Ramada - although we're keeping all of those options open. I'm still employed. We're still happily married. We do have someone in our "Upper Room Ministry" but I don't have time to go there today. Amy's health could still use your prayers. We are struggling in some areas, like everyone else, but we have food, shelter, God and each other...our blessings are too often taken for granted.

So onto other matters lest the whine reaper wrest control of the keyboard.

Oddity: I was at a stop light the other morning and noticed a "bandit sign" - one of those little professionally made signs that are illegally stuck in high traffic areas to advertise everything from phone services, to diet aids. This one was offering to "Fix Your Credit!"

First off, if your credit repair options have fallen to the point where the best counsel you can find is from an illegally placed sign at an intersection, I think you've ignored too many signs and traveled the wrong road for too long - I'm just sayin'...

However it was the next portion of the sign that intrigued me. It read: "80 Percent Guaranteed!"

What's that mean? Can this company fix 80 percent of your poor credit record? That seems unlikely. Does it mean they have a record of fixing the credit of 80 percent of the people who use their service? Maybe it means if they fail to fix your credit they'll give you back 80 percent of the money you gave them so you'll only have 20 percent less cash to pay off your bills.

I don't know. My credit is fine and even if it weren't I'd be hesitant to use some outfit that uses illegal signs on street corners they don't have to pay for to fix it. I sort of think the sign's true meaning is more along the lines of, "There's a 20 percent chance we could make your credit rating even worse!"

Who knows, the light changed and I moved onto the highway where I was calculating the odds of being hit by a drunk driver. I seem to have developed a habit I once abhorred of hitting the snooze alarm and as a result, since I don't factor in this habit when actually setting my alarm, I'm usually in a hurry to get out the door in the morning as I'm running a little late. "A little late" was a key factor in my mental mathematics that particular morning. I usually drive to work with the intent of being in the office by 2 a.m. at the latest. When I run late, which is not yet a ritual but I may have to get an alarm clock without the snooze option to prevent it from becoming one, I find myself still on the highway on 2 a.m.

There is a big difference in the traffic at 2 a.m. which changed my death by drunk algorithm significantly. 2 a.m. is closing time for bars in Texas and I've taken notice that there is a vast increase in the number of cars on the road. I don't really even know if I could define the word algorithm if I had to and I don't want to ever envision being in a position where I would, but I can do basic math. As much as I'd like to think there are an abundance of other people suffering with snooze alarm disorder who also have to be at work before roosters are even required to warm up their cockle-doodle-doos, the way I add it up is more like: 2 a.m. + more cars + bars throwing out everyone who ordered a double at "last call" = a bunch of drunks all around me on the freeway.

I'm going to have to get a new alarm clock.

In the not too distant future though I might not have to worry about such things at all. No, I'm not making a career move , at least to my knowledge, but I have taken note of the amazing work being done in developing cars that can drive themselves.

Really. It's astounding stuff and researchers world-wide are a lot closer than you might think to actually making it a reality. I'm fairly certain any of those researchers could not only spell and define algorithm, but they might actually enjoy doing it. Some of the advances are being produced by a team in San Antonio at the Southwest Research Institute. This week they unveiled a prototype...I'm not talking a little Mattel� matchbox-size prototype...They've done some self-propelled "pimping" to a full sized SUV...look for yourself.

I wonder if they'll make them with a snooze-bar option.

==========================

Completely off topic, some months ago I wrote about the "Pickle Sickle" and gloated about how I had to push for a news story to be run on the then small town phenomena.

Now it's a national phenomena with recent mentions in numerous publications including the Fort Worth paper, and today in Newsday...the newspaper where my father worked when I was a boy.

Yeah, I'm still gloating...

See? Everything's fine.

Pieces Of Light

2008-02-17T09:00:00.005-06:00

A friend recently gave me a light fixture for a room I've made into my office.

It's depression glass,unique, frosted...fragile. I was honored to receive it.

It's amazing it's stayed together this long. The stories it could tell.

It's beautiful and will soon light the room with a warmth and character all its own.

I suppose it takes a keen eye to spy its true beauty, to appreciate it.

It was in a house my friend is renovating although demolishing might be a better term, and he brought it to me with a grin knowing it would have a place of honor in our home.

There's not a chip on it but I'd treasure and respect it even if it had a few mars. Sometimes scars are beautiful too.

I haven't installed it yet...actually, some friends will install it as I'm not known as a handy guy, although I've installed light fixtures before.

There are other more important repairs I've been preoccupied with lately, but this morning I looked over at that fixture and thought of one thing.

I love you, Amy. I see your light. I know your story. I am blessed to have such vision.

Happy birthday my love...

Amy, I will love and honor you all my life.

"Honor your father and mother" is the first commandment that has a promise attached to it, namely, "so you will live well and have a long life."

The Dying Man Was A Lying Man

2008-02-14T20:08:00.003-06:00

Below are two posts I wrote in October when some dear friends sought our counsel. I removed the posts without much explanation at the time. I'm not going to explain much now, because I want to nap instead.

However I will fill in details shortly and actually it will dovetail into the oft promised second half of my Leviticus to Lego post. Suffice it to say....our friends were decieved, we were deceived...and the person who perhaps suffered the most...was Amy, for doing what we vowed to do...care for our friends, look out for them.

Accountability...I fear it may be nearing extinction.

More explanation later...I don't see any reason to conceal anything, after the players went on the Dr. Phil Show.

The Dying Man

"Let us be silent that we may hear the whisper of God." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I met a dying man today.

In fact, he told me he thought he might die tonight.

He might.

He's dying...no doubt about that, he's resigned himself to it and has decided not to go to extreme measures to prolong his existence, although he's not going to "rush" things either.

I don't blame him for accepting his fate. He has a disease for which there is no "cure" and he has been wasting away for some time.

He's also a doctor.

He's a very young man. His life is being cut short. However during his life he has been quite blessed and he will leave a legacy of two children...both very, very young. Unfortunately the woman who bore those children apparently will not be able to raise them when he dies, nor is that his wish, something about which he's rather adamant.

I don't know all the circumstances so I am not certain how that will play out.

I didn't know this man existed until last night when Amy was contacted by a couple of our dear friends who told us about him, and how they have been caring for him for some time in their home.

These friends have gone through some enormously unwieldy and heart wrenching struggles in recent years and they have stood by us through some of our worst times...so we're pretty familiar with each others strengths and failings. I'll admit when I heard they had taken on the responsibility of this man's care, and then that his wish is for them to become the guardians of his children I worried. I worried that this might be far too much for our friends to bear.

I met a dying man today.

I met him in the home of those dear friends, and I was stunned by many things besides this young man's clarity of his desires. I was stunned at how our friends had "changed" since we last were really in any meaningful contact. Rather than burdened by the care of a man dying in their home, rather than being weighed down by the memories of their very real struggles of the past...they were aglow.

In all honesty, in all the time I've known them - and those haven't always been dark times - I don't think I've ever felt more confident about their physical and mental health. Everyone in their family looked great - except for one dog who looked like he might burst from being fed too many table scraps, but I was told the dog had even actually lost weight recently.

The family was relating to each other, communicating well and lovingly, helping each other. One young man, the teenage boyfriend of one this couple's daughters - a strapping lad - was at this dying man's side at all times to make sure he didn't fall. At one point he literally swept him up in his arms and carried him up to his room while this "dying man" laughingly referred to the teen as his "elevator."

Amy and I were there for a couple of reasons I think - at least initially. To provide what counsel we could and to direct this couple to several people whose counsel we value and which they may need in the days, weeks and possibly years ahead. I think our friends also hoped we could gently provide some spiritual comfort.

And...in all honesty, I think our friends asked us to drop by to look in on them and make certain they hadn't all gone stark raving mad.

I'll admit with the information I was armed with before we arrived , I deeply feared that might be a distinct possibility.

I met a dying man today.

He was obviously very weak and fighting constant pain.

However I also met a man whose impact on our friends, their children and everyone in their household was undeniably profound. There was nothing weak or frail about his influence...it was unmistakably extraordinary.

Amy's empathetic heart took over for much of our "short" time there, but I was able to talk one on one with our friends about some possible concerns and hopefully give them some guidance or at least point them toward people whose guidance we trust.

Amy and I were also able to speak to this dying man a little about spiritual matters and Amy didn't waste time in making certain that he understood and believed in God's salvation...and then assuring him that he would receive it. I got the impression he has spoken a lot about this lately with our friends, as one might expect given his situation.

Still, as we were leaving - and by this time we were hugging - he asked me again, "I really am going to go to Heaven right?"

I hugged him a little harder - not too much he's fairly fragile - and told him not to worry about such matters. I then whispered in his ear, " God loves you, and that's all you need to remember now."

I met a dying man today and I am fully convinced he will go to Heaven.

I met a dying man today...

I'm only wondering if I met one of God's true miracle working angels too.

*This was originally posted on Oct 7th - It was removed a few weeks later due to circumstances which presumably will be outlined if I ever re-post it.

Gripping The Reigns Of Mortality

Death became familiar to me early in life, it wasn't my choice...it was simply how things played out.

I'm now realizing that although I may be well acquainted with death - dying, or rather the process of dying - has not been on my life's dance card. I have been with people at the moment they died, and I have hugged too many people over the years knowing full well that due to their health it would likely be our last hug. However until this week, I haven't really spent much time with someone who is both cogent and whose impending death is apparently certain.

I don't know when the young man our friends have taken into their home to care for will die, but Amy and I have been spending as much time as possible with that family to help him and them prepare. It's allowed me to examine this inevitable phase of life's journey more intimately.

I'm not taking notes or anything, but you can't help but try to seek discernment in such situations...at least I can't.

I met this man less than a week ago and my mind has been reeling almost constantly since that time trying to digest what he is going through as I bear witness to his personal confrontation with mortality.

This shroud of death looms over his thoughts constantly, but he's still alive. He's lived a vibrant productive life but he is haunted about the realities and uncertainties of death.
He is tortured at times by the inevitability of it all and by what must be the exasperating knowledge that spending any time worrying about how much time he has is a waste of precious time.

Take away all the pain and other physical issues, that enigma alone seems overwhelming. How can you not spend your time thinking about dying, when you know you're dying?

It must be agonizing.

He is a proud man, who has achieved far more than most in his lifetime...but now he is trying to come to grips with his achievements as he stares into the bleak reality that those accomplishments, his careers, and the possessions he obtained along the way will be of no use to him soon, most are of no use to him now.

He will often go out of his way to demonstrate both his mental and physical prowess. He'll challenge me with questions about everything from anatomy to spirituality. Being skilled in the martial arts and despite his weakened condition, he'll often want to demonstrate methods of self protection - I don't do the physical stuff, he may be dying but I know my skill set and I'm confident God's plan for me in his life is not to be his last knock out punch victim.

He challenges himself like that quite often though, certainly every day I have spent with him. I'll admit, I believe I misunderstood why at first...

There are still a lot of things he has to deal with if he wants to die in peace and so much of his time when he has the energy is focused on those tasks. Yesterday was one of those days, and in the early evening he was tired, lying on a couch and talking. It was then he mentioned in passing his fear of flying. He said he always had to take medication before getting on an airplane "because I know on a plane I'm not in control."

That's when I believe I understood things better.

He often wants to engage me or Amy in mental challenges, or show someone else a martial arts move, because these are abilities he has always been able to control and in which he has excelled. These things, more than possessions and degrees, are what he believes help define him.

In a sense he's saying, "You may not see it as easily now, but this is the man I am."

The phrase is trite, but I have been spending my time not so much with a man who is dying, but with a man who is "clinging to life."

Amidst the almost ever present tsunami of doubt, fear and pain that is engulfing him, he steadies himself with that which is familiar...the strengths of his life.

It wasn't long after he mentioned his fear of flying that we spent time in prayer. It was a long day for both of us, emotionally and physically...and I knew he was exhausted. I prayed that God would ease his fears and pain and I asked that God help remind him of His unconditional love by simply allowing him to see the people caring for him, in their true light.

Moments later he jumped up acting like he had been refreshed by a good night's sleep.

It was good to see.

I'm not sure how long that burst of energy lasted, I needed to go home and sleep.

I have more to learn about this season of dying, and I'm praying I'll have more time with this young man as he endures it.

Yet even as he clings to life, I know I can not cling to any illusions.

I pray to you, O Lord, in the time of your favor; in your great love, O God, answer me with your sure salvation - Psalm 69:13

THIS WAS ORIGINALLY POSTED ON OCT 12 - It was removed due the a change in circumstance.

I Should Have Waved

2008-02-13T03:52:00.005-06:00

Just noticed Google Maps has been busy in a half dozen cities, going the extra mile literally. They've been driving down streets taking photos, not from satellites but apparently from atop cars or Google-mobiles or Google-Segway's or whatever Googlees drive.

Welcome to my house:

I think they must have airbrushed all the leaves off the lawn...

This is the video explaining the feature. Remember when you see this guy that he probably has been holding onto Google stock options for years and can buy you, your house, your parent's house, your city....

Amish? I Wish!

2008-02-02T17:07:00.000-06:00

I know I still need to write about other issues, but I've been distracted by what my father-in-law would call,"Luciferian technology."

In truth, I have a variety of subjects running through my mind which I need to expel, but foremost lately is the overwhelming desire to...become Amish.

Admittedly such a transformation would likely negate me writing anything at all here or anywhere else on the Internet, but there are some other obstacles in the way as well.

Anyway, let's deal with the first question likely popping into your head, "Huh?" which I'll translate into," Um...Michael, why would you want to become Amish?"

Hey, it's my blog, my imagination, I can translate your thoughts anyway I wish.

Since the day we stepped off the ship from our Caribbean cruise I have seemingly been fighting technology. We weren't home for a day before our Credit Union called to make sure my VISA card hadn't been hijacked since it was used overseas. I completely understood the reason for this call. I never use that card, but I thought while traveling I wanted protection of a real credit card and not a debit card. I explained to the first person I spoke with that the charges were legitimate, I was not being held hostage by some Rastafarian nor were any members of my family, despite photographic evidence which might indicate the contrary.

Since that first phone call I have spoken with perhaps a dozen different representatives of my credit union's "fraud" department, hoping to convince them that all was well and good in the world. Additionally during this time the entire Dish Network nightmare has been playing out and although my previous post indicated all was resolved, it wasn't until today that our money was actually returned.

I'm skipping over a lot to spare you the agony, but don't despair...there's plenty of agony ahead.

The high points:

1. A "credit fraud expert" at my credit union told me my "card must be damaged."
When I explained that her revelations seemingly would not explain why medications ordered through my health insurance company's on-line pharmacy were being refused, she said,"Well, your card may have a scratch on it." I never could get her to understand that that the "on line" pharmacy has never touched my physical credit card in that they are...um..."on line" and she insisted on sending me new card.
2. The DISH network corporate "Media communications office" - although Evelyn B3B did everything she promised,"God bless you "Evelyn B3B" - has bombarded me with reassurances that "all is well" - except when it comes to to my emails asking why my on line billing statement now says I owe them 150 bucks, a number apparently picked out of thin air.
3. After speaking with the "credit card fraud" experts at my credit union and asking flat out, "Is there ANYONE ON EARTH OR ELSEWHERE who could be messing with this card's acceptance?" I was told over and over that "Nope, everything should go through now."
4. The VISA card is still being rejected everywhere except apparently Jamaica.
5. I received a letter from VISA (word for word identical to the letter I received on the SAME DAY from my credit union) saying, "because of unusual activity - i.e. I was using the card - THEY(VISA) had put a hold on it. Never once did anyone at my credit union say, "Oh, you might want to check with VISA."
6. I called VISA, and spoke to a seemingly competent guy who listened to my tale of woe and said, "Gee, I don't know why your credit union didn't tell us you'd spoken to them, but 'everyone who looks up your record' will see now that the card is to accepted."
7. The VISA card is still being denied...I've given up on that card, paid it off, and taken it out of my wallet.
8. I rush out of work to get Amy to a doctor's appointment she says she's certain is at 9:15 a.m.
On my way home, I call Amy and she tells me she's not feeling well enough to go to the doctor and can't get through to their office. I tell her to rest, I turn around since the Doc's office is nearby, and say I'll deal with it.
9. I call the doctor whose office opens at 8:30 a.m....but keep getting their "please call back during office hours recording." It's nearly 9 a.m..
10. After repeated attempts I decide to stay on hold to talk to the doctor's service...maybe he's sick (actually he was) and hear a recording saying, "All our representatives our currently busy, please stay on hold. Your estimated wait time is TWENTY-TWO seconds."
11. Nine minutes later, I hang up...I'm in the parking lot of the doctor's office.
12. I rush up the stairs to see the doctor's receptionist fixing her make-up and mention that I wasn't certain of the appointment time, plus I couldn't get through to her via the phone.
13. She finishes fixing her hair, and responds, "Oh, I never turn off the machine until I've done my make-up." It's now 9:30. She adds, "The appointment is at 10:15 anyway."
14. I step outside to call Amy only to see the doctor running in. He stops to talk telling me he had awoken with a migraine and was running late. I told him not to worry because at least one appointment was being rescheduled. He then apparently has plenty of time to talk and I jokingly mention that I'm giving up technology and becoming Amish. His response? He says, "Did you know you can buy an Amish buggy for 8 to 900 bucks?"
15. I leave, worried about why this doctor would know the price of an Amish buggy.
16. I'm called by another credit union representative wanting to know if my VISA card is being held hostage.
17. I'm called by our on-line pharmacy asking if I have another credit card they might try.
18. I ask the pharmacy if they have "anything on special." I'm only half serious.
20. Out of curiosity I do an Internet search on "Amish buggies" for sale.

The doctor was not only right, but he's apparently been searching prices recently.

21. I buy a tiny item via eBay, only to find the seller "doesn't accept PayPal" but no where in her 15 page "ad" on eBay does she say WHERE to send her a check. I send no fewer than three emails to her and finally one to eBay.
22. One day later, I get a response from the seller saying, "Sorry, here's my address. I've been too busy filling orders to read email." HUH?
23. I look at the Amish buggy again and wonder if I might be bidding against our doctor.
24. The DISH Network corporate media communication's office stops responding to my emails asking why their proclamation of "you'll have your money in 3 business days" hasn't materialized.
25. I realize to become Amish I only really need that buggy, a horse, and a beard.
26. I haven't ever been able to grow a beard.
27. I praise God for the Internet.

28. I realize praising God for the Internet might also toss a wrench into my Amish aspirations.

29. I decide to go to church in the morning and pray about it.

Be Bubbly! It's Monday!

2008-01-28T00:33:00.000-06:00

In honor of today being "Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day" - I offer these two Monday morning diversions.

Virtual Bubblewrap © www.virtual-bubblewrap.com

And, just so you can leave this site eventually...consider the "Bubble Wrap Key chain."

You really should get back to work now...

Everlasting Love & Evelyn B3B

2008-01-25T20:40:00.000-06:00

I almost hate to say this...but I believe our "dispute" with the DISH Network has been resolved - or will be to the best I can hope for, considering the idiots we've contended with for days.

I documented every step.

Should you wish to suffer along the entire course...click here...or here...or here.

Let us pray...

Separation Of Church And Safe - Part One

2008-01-24T10:01:00.000-06:00

I've had a variety of things I wanted to write about recently but have been derailed by one thing or another - for example The Dish Network which I was foolish enough to allow back into our lives a couple of years ago and recently learned has apparently adopted "organized crime-like" tactics in lieu of "Customer Service." I don't want to blog about it, especially since I ranted about how bad The Dish Network was in this same space four or five years ago when we got rid of them. After several days of dealing with their antics, I really don't need anyone saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...yada yada yada." So, let's not go there...directly.

If you really want to make an attempt to follow the comical yet "frightening Dish Network" invasion of our privacy, as well as our foray into potential fraud, theft and malfeasance allegations involving DISH SATELLITE, you can click on the link I highlighted above. Good luck...it makes my head spin and I won't be held accountable for spelling or grammatical errors. Most of that stuff was written following hours upon hours of belligerent interrogation room-like torture techniques...be thankful I removed the profanity.

[Momentary aside added Friday: I should mention that the information about the DISH debacle is constantly being updated now, since I am being compelled to keep a log of sorts - otherwise I couldn't remember all the seemingly endless twists and turns. So now it's turned into sort of a constantly running Soap Opera except not as well written and there's no sex...however as it continues to bloom and fester it is turning into some good comedy...if I don't dwell on the price of admission.]

Short version: NEVER SUBSCRIBE TO THE DISH NETWORK. One day I may publish photos of the scars I carry from failing to adhere to that advice, but right now the images are far too graphic.

Okay, so what's been on the functional part of my mind when I haven't had my ear stuck to a phone trying to converse with people whose responses are limited to pre-written moronic corporate dictates?

I've been kicking around this nebulous idea about how we adhere to God's word and desires based on the God we know...or think we know.

Blame this guy, he started it:

Some months ago that guy, A.J. Jacobs, released a book entitled, "The Year of Living Biblically." He's already had more publicity than the book merits but the Reader's Digest version is the writer details his one year attempt to abide by "every" law in the Bible. I'm not talking the "Top Ten" - despite Jacobs' possible "Moses envy issues" displayed in the above image. He is "old school" or rather "Old Testament" and manages to drag out his stunt by selectively trying to adhere to the laws or what he interprets as Biblical "laws" covering all sorts of things from cleanliness to playing lyres. He kept up the shtick for a year. More notably he dragged it out for 388 pages and got a book deal.

Hopefully he may also have gotten something out of The Book.

So that concept started me off on this tangent of considering how I personally am "selective" in abiding by the tenets of the Bible, and really my thoughts on how most people are not too unlike me in that regard.

It's to be expected right? I mean times change, people change, society changes, the world changes...God cha...

Whoa...let's hold up a sec.

Don't misunderstand me. I'm not referring to "New Testament" Christians, those of us who believe we live on the other side of Christ and therefore have a different "covenant" or relationship with God.

I mean God Himself. Obviously, I believe our relationship with God changed...but did God change?

It's a rhetorical question, not to worry...no quiz. Well, at least not yet and certainly not administered by me.

This notion keeps coming back to me though.

I was going to outline some other considerations today, but honestly - following what we've been put through this week by ~~the minions of Satan~~ the DISH Network, I'm too tired.

So, tune in tomorrow.* I promise I will tie these thoughts from Leviticus to little old ladies to LEGO� related products.

*"Tomorrow" is not to be considered a legally* binding deadline. [Momentary aside added "late" Friday - "Oh! There is NO Way."- mm]

*Dish Network employees refer to last page (page three) of EchoStar Customer Service pamphlet for DISH Network definition of "legally" as it may vary from other - more common - interpretations.

One Day Delay

2008-01-23T20:30:00.000-06:00

I swear, I had a bunch of stuff ready to dish out to you folks today dealing with everything from an Old Testament LEGO� treatment to good old fashion modern-day church mistreatment, but I was led astray by another episode of "Customer Service" insanity that took me to India, the UPS store, probably to my office manager to explain my Sprint bill, and then to my bank, MasterCard, and possibly the courthouse.

None of it is interesting though.

The Lego stuff is much better I promise. Thursday I will write about it. No phone calls, no emails, no crazy people other than those I'm related to or who are paying me...and you guys of course :)

This Is A Test

2008-01-22T08:32:00.000-06:00

I'm testing out a program and it's possible use with our radio stations. This is a actually an adaptation of an audio feature I did years ago on an odd Texas Hill Country landmark.

I only want to see how it works in blogger which is of no interest to you whatsoever.

The Frost bank thing is there because I like Frost bank and their advertising image fit this piece.