Saturday, July 17, 2004

Shuffling Off To Obscurity

"Good morning Shufflers"

The first year Amy and I went to Lakeside we heard that greeting almost every morning. They were having a big-time shuffleboard tournament that year. We were staying only a few houses away, and a little old lady would turn on a microphone at 9 a.m. each day of the tournament...it would squeal and then she would say, "Good morning Shufflers."

It was one of the things that immediately made me feel out of place.

Various thoughts ran through my head....most along the lines of:

"Shuffleboard? This is our vacation? Shuffleboard?"
"Did we retire and no one told us?"
"Did we die and no one told us?"
"Is this the 1950's?"
"Where are Wally and the Beav?"

Gradually I came not only to enjoy playing shuffleboard while on vacation, but to admit that I played it when I came back home.

It's a fun game. Some people are very good, but most folks have their good days and bad days. You only sweat if the sun is beating down on you and even really bad players can get lucky and win.

So, in all honesty, it's a sport that is perfect for me.

Anyway, this afternoon Amy and I stopped by Blockbuster video. We didn't take a lot of time selecting movies, since we don't see many movies everything is new, and I got in line behind one person. One person renting games, trading in games, asking about release dates of games, talking about how much they love games, disputing an overcharge on their bill...suffice it to say...she was one person...but she had a bundle of Blockbuster issues.

So I'm standing there and behind me is a young boy with his dad and they're bonding over video games (been there...if it works for you go for it). The boy was excitedly talking about Madden NFL 2005 and interrupted the lone clerk coping with the lady of many issues to ask if Madden 2005 was available. He found out it was...for purchase: 50 bucks. This sparked a renewed fervor. The boy started asking his dad if he had enough credit to get the game if he traded in some other games and if he used a coupon he had with him. I smiled and said to the dad, "Economics 101 in the video age...I guess ya gotta love it."

The father smiled back and agreed. We exchanged a few more pleasantries. I mentioned a few games and asked if they'd played them- I use to play a lot more video games when companies would send them to me for "review", but I don't so much anymore - in other words the companies stopped sending them.

Suddenly the boy, who was talking about 50 miles a minute up to this point stops speaking entirely and stares at me.

I must admit my first thought was, "Oh man he's spotted a booger and he's going to say something about it", but he surprised me by saying, "Shuffleboard? What's shuffleboard?"

It's then I realized I had on my recently purchased t-shirt from Lakeside



I smiled and explained that shuffleboard is a game you play outside which doesn't require any type of machine or even electricity.

That's when the kid gave me a blank stare and said rather flatly, "The lady in front of you is done."

Heard enough... please shuffle off now.

"Goodbye Shufflers"



photo credit: Michael DeLong

posted by Michael
©The Main Point by Michael Main 7/17/2004 08:23:00 PM  

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Martha My Dear

Martha Stewart's going to prison. Phew! The world is a safer place don't you think?

I couldn't give a flip about Martha Stewart, but I'm certainly relieved that crime is under control to such a point now and we can spend millions of dollars to prosecute people who lie to investigators by saying they're innocent.



If the government wants to prosecute people for lying at least we won't have to spend a lot of money on travel for investigators...taxpayers can probably simply donate a few old mirrors.

On the other hand, I might be in favor of locking up a few Martha Stewart fanatics. Have you checked out SaveMartha.com? I especially like the "post a prayer" feature. It's oh so tempting.

posted by Michael
©The Main Point by Michael Main 7/17/2004 08:54:00 AM  

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Friday, July 16, 2004

An Ink Blot or Red Tape?

I suspect Amy and I are about to travel into bizarro world today. We're doing battle with the government over Amy's request to be considered for disability. The first request was denied in a heartbeat, which we've been told is the standard procedure. The appeal is now in the works but they're not asking Amy's physical medical conditions to be evaluated, at least not yet. That seems odd since four surgeries and umpteen hospitalizations, combined with on-going pain and the inability to eat are sort of the issues here...at least that's what we thought. Uncle Sam thinks the best person to evaluate Amy today is some pshrink. If I understood the government's thinking I think I'd be eligible to apply too.

The prospect of this appointment has triggered various panic attacks and confusion for Amy.

Of course that may work to our benefit.

Maybe the government does have our best interests in mind after all.

posted by Michael
©The Main Point by Michael Main 7/16/2004 09:57:00 AM  

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Thursday, July 15, 2004

The Dock

The dock at Lakeside is a key fixture. People walk on the dock, they fish off the dock, they swim off the dock, some people simply come to the dock to sit and read.

On the fourth of July they close off the dock to set off fireworks from it's sturdy concrete and steel base.

With the exception of a little cruise ship that took people out for night cruises on the lake a few years ago, I don't think I've ever seen any boats actually dock at the dock.



I am glad our family docked there though.

posted by Michael
©The Main Point by Michael Main 7/15/2004 04:40:00 PM  

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I Do This For A Living? Really?

First day back at work and I have to confess when the alarms (I have two alarms, I'm paranoid that way) went off I said, "Huh? mnmuphh?"

It took me easily five minutes to realize that I was deliberately getting out of bed before 1 a.m. I'm glad tomorrow is Friday, this is going to take some getting used to...I seem to have somehow forgotten in the past two weeks that I'm insane.

I was heading to the church on the way home because I'm fairly certain I'm due to clean this week, but I didn't make it. I called Amy and said, "huh? mnmuph?" to which she replied, "I think you need a nap". I don't think I was in the door for 5 minutes before I was asleep.

I feel better now; of course insane people are usually content. I suppose life is getting back to normal.

posted by Michael
©The Main Point by Michael Main 7/15/2004 04:05:00 PM  

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Wednesday, July 14, 2004

The Untold Story of The Bulletin Man

I mentioned the Bulletin Man on this blog about a year ago, but in brief he's unusual, as betrayed in part by his appearance.



We call him the Bulletin Man, but his name is Allen. He rides an old beat up bicycle and has been a fixture at Lakeside for decades. He is 53 years old, but that's if you calculate age in the standard way. Personally I don't think standards really apply in Allen's case. There are a lot of stories about him, I suspect many are more myth than fact, but it's my understanding he suffered a head injury as a child and never really recovered.

I know this much...he loves people and he loves God.

A few years ago he told me that the folks who run Lakeside had put certain restrictions on his activities and it saddened me a great deal. He showed me the letter they had sent him which seemed harsh and business like. I thought it was missing a large measure of grace. I still do.

He is still having some difficulties with the Lakeside Association, and this year I noticed his demeanor had changed slightly. There was an air of cynicism and defiance. He told me he was "refusing" to hand out songbooks at the daily vespers as a sort of protest. When I heard that, part of me was encouraged to see him upset at what he perceives as injustice....part of me was disillusioned that he sees injustice at all.

This year, during our first full day at Lake Erie I saw Allen standing outside the cottage we had rented. He hesitated when I began taking his picture and quickly ducked his head, retreating into a position of taking copious notes, about what I can only imagine.



As soon as I saw I was making him uncomfortable I tried to set his mind at ease and once I established myself as a friend, he was quite cordial and open. He has a remarkable savant-like memory, although he almost always confuses me with my brother-in-law who has been coming to Lakeside for decades. He remembers which houses we have stayed in, what churches we belong to, and is always curious about the state of Christianity in our home towns.

He is a wonderful character. This year he had probably 30 feet of yellow nylon rope wrapped around the frame of his already cluttered bicycle. When I asked what it was for, he smiled and replied, "It's a great conversation starter don't you think?"

Usually Allen is in charge of the conversations we've had...I suppose it's that way with most of the folks he speaks with, many of whom (and I've been guilty of this too) are looking for a way to end the conversation more than anything else. This year though I turned the tables a bit and started asking him questions. I learned he has suffered two heart attacks recently, and was hit by a car in 2001. He spent some time in a state hospital and in the process he lost the home outside the Lakeside grounds which he shared with his sister.

He also lost his collection of church bulletins and hymnals. Allen smiles almost constantly, although his dentist, if he has one, would certain discourage that. When he mentioned his loss I saw real pain in his face for the first time ever. The house wasn't what he cherished, but he had collected bulletins and hymnals for many years. To the best of my knowledge, those things had been the center points of his life. I could see that he didn't understand how other people couldn't understand.

I think Allen may be a "hoarder", someone who suffers from a compulsive disorder to save things. Amy said she once peeked inside his home and it appeared to be stacked to the rafters with papers, so I could easily imagine that people with good intentions couldn't see the cherished beyond the clutter and simply decided everything had to go. I pray that he wasn't preyed upon in the process.

I have Allen's new address and he is anxious for people to send him church bulletins and hymnals, but I don't know if that would be a good thing. I gave him my business card and several copies of our church's order of worship, but I resisted the temptation to agree to send him more. I'm also resisting the idea of sharing his address. I suspect he would receive a lot of church bulletins if I did that, and I know that would bring him much joy.

I don't know if it would also bring him new problems.

When I think of the Bulletin Man many things come to mind: I realize that my struggles almost always pale in comparison to others and that grace should be extended universally, but judgment should not.

Most of all though, I'm reminded that I don't know the whole story...which is probably something I should be reminded of more often.


Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight... - Proverbs 3:5-6

posted by Michael
©The Main Point by Michael Main 7/14/2004 07:51:00 PM  

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Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Jesus Is Just One Height To Me

Amy and I took the back roads from Dayton to Lake Erie.


This is something we love to do, travel the heartland...at a little slower pace than other folks. It's also something admittedly made more tempting by the fact we drive up to the Lake in "the little truck that might" which lacks air conditioning, so the windows have to be rolled down on warm days. If you travel the major highways for long like that you not only go deaf trying to communicate with each other, you also breathe in enough gas fumes to create your own ozone alert day.

In all honesty, I never tire of driving back roads. I love the scenery and the lack of traffic. I love town squares and old houses. I love speculating about how people in quaint little towns manage to get by in today's fast paced world. I love realizing that they probably simply don't participate in that world, which makes it all so much easier. I love everything about back roads and small towns...especially when Amy and I can enjoy them with only each other.

This year, about a tenth of the way into the trip, we started marking various churches on the map we bought - Amy long ago learned I have no sense of direction...we would have bought a map sooner if I didn't get lost trying to find a gas station.

We didn't write down all the church names, but there were a lot of them -some mid sized churches, some very small churches...all sorts of denominations. We spotted them all with ease. I'd shout out the names and Amy would try to scribble them on the map before I shouted out another one.

One church we didn't see that day is the "Solid Rock Church" which sits between Dayton and Cincinnati near Monroe, Ohio. I get the impression from their website, which, by the way, conveniently offers "i.tithing" via a secure server, that they are a mega church.

We missed seeing the Solid Rock Church because it sits on one of the largest highways in Ohio, I-75. Few other folks will miss it though; the church is building a statue of Jesus....42 feet tall with an arm span of 40 feet.

The sculpture, constructed out of Styrofoam and fiberglass, will be one of the largest statues of Jesus in North America.



Some Ohio State Troopers have expressed concern that it might distract drivers on an already busy freeway. Members of the church say their intent is to show everyone who drives by that there is hope.

I long ago tried to stop passing judgment on such ventures. I'm not a mega-church kind of guy, but I know a lot of people who have found community and comfort in super churches. I don't think God turns those believers away even if what brought them through the door was a 42 foot high Styrofoam and fiberglass Jesus standing next to a church's brand new amphitheatre. My point is not to denigrate the statue or my fellow Christians who believe that is an appropriate use of their resources.

Our little church had to fight tooth and nail to get the six by four foot sign that sits alongside the farm to market road where our family of faith gathers. The sign reads: "Covenant Baptist Church" and mentions our hours of worship.

Still, that sign has probably been our most successful outreach tool.

The back roads, the little churches, the little signs, and the statue of Jesus all fit together for me tonight.

I suppose it's all a matter of perspective.

Sometimes I see Jesus everywhere...even in the smallest of places.

Other times, He is looming above me with arms outstretched and I speed past without giving Him a second glance.

It's sure nice to know He's reaching out though.

On the highways...and the back roads.


=================
Summer House has been updated.

posted by Michael
©The Main Point by Michael Main 7/13/2004 11:05:00 PM  

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Carry Fourth

Today was spent unpacking, driving Tiffany back home, unpacking, realizing there's no food in the house, unpacking...cleaning.

I don't really feel like blogging.

So instead of my usual wisdom...okay, instead of the usual junk I post...here are a few pictures of Lakeside, Ohio...most from July 4th, where the anticipation of the parade far exceeds the parade itself. This I think is most likely a universal truth.










posted by Michael
©The Main Point by Michael Main 7/13/2004 07:41:00 PM  

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Monday, July 12, 2004

The Law of Returning Diminished

We're home. The house is a wreck...we weren't burglarized, that's how we left it in the frantic rush to "pack light".

Despite using an entire suitcase for "food you can't get in Ohio" on our way there, we ended up having to swipe a suitcase from Amy's parents to have enough room to bring everything back. I don't know how this occurs, which is probably what mother rabbits say too.

Anyway, the house has a funky smell...that might be what a house smells like when the dogs that normally live there haven't been living there for a couple of weeks. I don't know. It's a new smell.

I'm sure it will go away when we clean or at least change when I fetch the dogs back.

We had no major incidents in our air travels home. No broken jars of pickles (pickles you can't get in Texas...actually you can't get them in Ohio...so Amy's sister in Oklahoma brought them to Ohio so we could bring them to Texas. We traded her hot sauce you can't get in Oklahoma - the family that barters foodstuffs together...). No broken bottles of wine (wine you can't get in Texas and which really only tastes good on a warm afternoon at Lake Erie but sometimes if you close your eyes...)

We did apparently manage to leave our toothbrushes and my razor behind...I can't figure that one out.

I'm convinced the TSA stole my San Antonio Police Officers Association T-Shirt. They're not suspects in the toothbrush caper though.

An update on the Bulletin Man is forthcoming, it's somewhat sad I suppose, but there is a lesson there.

I think I'll have to write about faith and the family dynamic, but I'm not certain how I'll do that yet.

After 6 or 7 hours of air travel I'm really not certain of anything...except that I'm going to spray a little more Fabreeze around the house, open a bottle of wine from Lake Erie, and praise God for safe travel and family...not necessarily in that order.

It's always nice to be home...even if you have to close your eyes - hold your nose occasionally, and admit your teeth are a little fuzzy.


Addendum:

This morning the toothbrushes were discovered. I now feel better about the world...and the feeling is probably mutual.

posted by Michael
©The Main Point by Michael Main 7/12/2004 11:10:00 PM  

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