The Main Point by Michael Main

Saturday, January 03, 2004

WAYNES

I've mentioned before I am not the only person touting the Wayne Axiom- that people named Wayne are predisposed to crime and mayhem.
The author of the syndicated series "News of the Weird" is also a believer. This was included in his recent column of News of the Weird 2003 highlights:

Arrested for murder in 2003: Randy Wayne Richards (Courtenay, British Columbia), Curtis Wayne Pope (Fort Worth, Texas), Joseph Wayne Cook (Wilmington, N.C.), Michael Wayne Sears (Charlottesville, Va.), Dale Wayne Eaton (Denver), Ricky Wayne Brown (Manassas, Va.), Dennis Wayne Bryant (Richmond, Va.). Awaiting trial for murder (pending competency exam): Elvis Wayne Botley (Palm Springs, Calif.). Committed suicide while a murder
suspect: Rodger Wayne Chastain (San Francisco). Sentenced for murder:
Michael Wayne Fisher (Chester County, Pennsylvania). Appeal rejected:
convicted murderer Barry Wayne Riley (Vancouver, British Columbia).
Executed for murder: Allen Wayne Jenecka (Huntsville, Texas), Bobby Wayne Swisher (Jarrett, Va.). And (Ouch!) acquitted of murder: David Wayne McQuater (Metter, Georgia).

I'm going to assume by this that the author is what I call a Wayne Theory purist, in that he believes there are special connotations to people with the middle name of Wayne. I know a lawyer here in San Antonio who also adheres to this theory. He actually has his secretary go through court dockets and copy off the case details of criminals and accused criminals who have Wayne as their middle name.

I, on the other hand, am on the more liberal spectrum of Waynists. I tend to distrust people whose first, middle or even last names are Wayne. Actually, Dwaynes, DeWaynes, and DuWaynes are suspect in my mind too.

This past year a woman named Waynetta also made my list.

In fact, I've manage to avoid Wayne, Michigan and Ft. Wayne, Indiana.

I once drove through Wayne, Ohio...but we didn't linger.

DROPPING LIKE FLIES

Gee, three of the bloggers I read regularly have recently pulled the plugs on their musings permanently. Several others have announced they're taking breaks for a month or more, and a couple or three haven't posted anything in several weeks.

Don't you realize this is all about me? I need this voyeuristic release of other people's writings. I really must insist this trend stop. Meanwhile I'm searching for well written blogs with substance and or humor.

I'm open to suggestions.

Friday, January 02, 2004

IDLE TIME

I didn't watch the TV show American Idol...and I didn't follow the recent World Idol competition either.

But I saw the story about the World Idol winner today...and I remembered how much I loved Mad magazine as a kid.

I'm sure the new World Idol is a fabulous singer...seems like he would have to be.

Thursday, January 01, 2004

AND SO IT BEGINS...

The house is quiet, everyone is still asleep. It's a grey drizzly day, perfect for staying at home, watching movies and football.

We rang in the New Year safely despite the clamoring of "code orange".

I will admit to one moment of terror, around three this morning when I woke up to pitch darkness. At first I thought Amy had turned out the night light, then I realized I saw no light at all. I couldn't see any clocks, the cable box, not even the hand in front of my face. For a brief moment in my sleep induced haze I wondered if that glass of cheap champagne at midnight was some how spiked with something that had left me blinded. I stared around the room looking for any glimmer of light and found none.

I was too sleepy for hysteria, but some bizarre thoughts did cross my mind.

Then, I heard the kids were still awake in the living room...laughing.

I knew the world was okay.

There must have been a power failure.

I crawled back into bed vowing to worry about it later.

I know there will probably be other days in this new year when I find myself in momentary darkness.

I hope at those times too I stop and listen....and realize there is no need to panic.

Psalm 18:28
You, O Lord , keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.

Wednesday, December 31, 2003

LEFT WANTING

I don't do New Year's resolutions...or perhaps I just don't do them well. There have been times when I've made life changing decisions, but I've never been able to sync them to this particular day.

I do have some goals for 2004:

There are the traditional ones - lose weight, eat healthier, exercise.
Actually I've narrowed that one down to: Don't die.
I also have a goal to wear my seatbelt all the time, Amy has threatened to kill me if I don't so technically that may still fall under the auspices of goal number one.

My primary goal for 2004 is to live more simply.

I've been giving that a lot of thought lately.

What does it take to simplify your life?

I've come to one conclusion.

All it requires is that I want less.

I want that. I want to want less.

See why I don't do resolutions?

Tuesday, December 30, 2003

THAT WAS CRUEL

One of the features of the commenting system on this blog is that it sends me an email with the specific comment when someone feels compelled to leave one. One thing the system doesn't do, is tell me to which particular bit of my wisdom the commentator in responding.

This afternoon an email sailed into my "Comment" folder from "Anonymous" which read simply, "That was cruel..."

I scoured my thoughts. I've been cynical certainly, perhaps a little sarcastic, but cruel? I started going through all the recent posts to find out which musing that comment was in response to...but I couldn't find it. So, I started going through November....nope. Okay, now I'm a man on a mission, slogging through the archives looking for a cruel post.

Finally, I found it! It was a post from back in August.

The post about McGriddle recipes.

The gag that keeps on giving.

Of course making me search through several months of writing to find that comment was equally cruel, so I consider us even.

P.S. I just noticed that I am again at the top of the hill if you search for McGriddle Recipe on Google.

If you search for Michael Main, I come in second or third. Go figure.

YOU WRITE LIKE A GIRL

I ran across this article today while mindlessly wandering about the Internet. That in turn led me the book blog gender genie.

In a nutshell, it claims that if you cut and paste about 500 words of someone's writings into the "genie", the website can determine the author's gender.

Suffice it to say I have serious doubts about the accuracy...and I feel bloated.

Monday, December 29, 2003

Be The Ninth Convert

In radio, it's called contesting. You've heard it, "Be the ninth caller and win a pair of tickets"; "The only station giving away a chance to win ten thousand dollars!", etc..

There's no great mystery to it...it's basic bribery. Radio stations hope to lure people into listening by offering them prizes. The more people who listen, the more radio stations charge for ads, and the more money they make.

It must work, since almost every radio station does it.

But not every church.

This is from The Galveston County Daily News

Church finding new ways to attract attendance

By Alicia Gooden
The Daily News

Published December 28, 2003

LA MARQUE ? Lots of people make them every year around this time ? commitments to turn over a new leaf once the new year begins.
Mixed in with all the other New Year?s resolutions to lose weight, exercise more, get out of debt and stop smoking are usually vows to start going to church.
An October survey conducted by the Harris Poll, an international marketing and research firm, found that 79 percent of Americans believe that there is a god, but only 36 percent attend a religious service once a month or more. Abundant Life Christian Center is taking a step to increase church attendance.
In the sanctuary before the thousands of people who worship there every week are a shiny new Chrysler PT Cruiser and a Harley Davidson Sportster motorcycle.
The church will give the vehicles away Wednesday night at its New Year?s Eve service.
The giveaway is part of a creative method to get people to come to church, but the message has not changed, said Pastor Walter Hallam.
?This is an opportunity for the church to give something to someone that will encourage people to come to the house of the Lord,? he said.
Once there, Hallam said the message of salvation will keep people coming to church.
?We want to be real and effective in serving the community and the Lord,? he said. ?We want to do something to have a positive effect on people?s lives.?
Abundant Life has opened the drawing up to members and visitors. Each time people attend a church service there, they are eligible to enter the free drawing for either the car or the motorcycle.
The church has three services a week. Members bringing visitors are eligible to register twice.
The response has been overwhelming, said Jim Walker, business administrator for the church.
The vehicles weren?t donated. The church purchased them to give away.
?We?re a giving church,? said Hallam.
The Chrysler PT Cruiser is for a woman. The motorcycle is for a man. The winner of each new vehicle must be at the Wednesday service, which will include indoor fireworks, confetti, and a 4,000-balloon drop to usher in the new year.
The church will undertake other innovative programs that reach out to people in 2004, said Hallam.
?As a church, we have to use new methods to help take the old Gospel and give it to the world,? he said.

Has it really come to this?

How about an "Endure the sermon" contest? The last one to nod off during an 18 point sermon on the book of Jeremiah wins.

Or maybe something more blatant like "Commit to Christ for Cash!", "Baptize 'em for Bucks!", or "Lotto for the Lord!".

Am I wrong to think the promise of salvation - everlasting life wrapped in the loving arms of God should be prize enough?

It is for me...thank God.

DOUBLE SPEAK

I don't normally blog anything this early in the morning. I'm up at this hour going through newspapers on line as part of my job, but this quote got me today:

"What I'm saying is I think we're the best and most capable candidate of beating George Bush because we're the only one that is exciting the party" - Howard Dean

I'm always weirded out by politicos, and Dean isn't the only one, who talk about themselves in plural. The Royal "we". What's up with that?

I guess perhaps it sounds less conceded and boastful.

It's one of those political peculiarities. I've seen others. I don't know how many politicians I've watched roll into San Antonio and boast about their winning ways during photo-ops in front of the Alamo. The Alamo was the scene of an historic battle, of course, but it was after all a losing battle.

Sunday, December 28, 2003

UNRELATED THOUGHTS

Google has a relatively new news alert service which I use for a variety of topics I want to track, most of them work related. I did set one up at the beginning of the holiday season to track stories about baby Jesus figurines being stolen from nativity scenes. By my rough reckoning, I got about 30 reports of swiped statuettes of Jesus.

I mention that only because I saw an article today about this cute website established by someone whose garden Gnome has been highjacked.

That in turn reminded me of the delightful French film Amelie which, if you haven't seen, you should rent. It's truly charming.

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