Saturday, August 23, 2003

SLAM DUNK

"There's nothing wrong with Southern Baptists...I just wish they'd hold them under water a little longer"- Kinky Friedman

I'm about to go to a Baptism service. It's for two little girls in our church. I was briefly the Sunday school teacher for one of them, Chloe.

Chloe is hard to describe. She is nine years old and has never met a stranger. She fears no one. In a church of introverts, Chloe stands out. It's not uncommon to find her dancing about in the church parking lot, or encouraging other kids to dash among the unkempt and unruly wildflowers.

Chloe is often the first person to greet church visitors, grabbing their hands and dragging them into the sanctuary, showing them the things she believes are most important, like the donuts we serve before service.

A few weeks ago I had to draw the line and ask her not to roller skate inside the church. She smiled and skated outside...then skated back in, only to be reminded again.

Chloe is a handful.

A few times she's come to church without her Mom and has sat with me while Amy leads music. Chloe will wiggle and squirm. She will do all sorts of things to try to get my attention. She'll tug on my sleeve and point out something she's drawn on the order of worship. She'll reach in my pockets to see if there's anything of interest (she didn't understand it when she found my nasal spray mid-sermon and I never did find an appropriate time to explain my Afrin addiction).

She exudes love and truly hopes to be the center of the universe. Chloe can drive some of our older, more staid, church members crazy.

Every week during our prayer concerns Chloe raises her hand and asks for, "prayers for the Gypsy people" and our missionaries working to spread the gospel to them.

Today was a long day which I spent much of working in the heat. I am tired and tempted to skip tonight's service.

But it's Chloe.

I couldn't miss this.



This little girl who upsets our old folks, grabs our newcomers, shoves her love on everyone even before they come through the church doors. This child who is distracted and distracting is also dismaying and disarming. Annoying and anointing.

Chloe is committing her life to Christ...our Savior. Whom many might describe in much the same way....though probably never on roller skates.

Friday, August 22, 2003

IT'S ONLY GOING TO GET BETTER

First off, is there no picture of Arnold Schwartzenegger where he doesn't look like a stand-in at Maddame Tussaud's Wax Museum? This is only picture I ever see in the media.



I guess folks in California are more used to plastic surgery but he looks like a rubberized vampire wannabe to me.

I notice that some of the Hollywood contingent are starting to stoop a little lower. Weren't these the same folks who chanted the mantra of "character doesn't count" a few years ago? Maybe I was dreaming.

I am waiting for the next reality TV show: "California". How long can it before some network genius places live cameras all around California to let those of us living in the land of the semi-sane gaze and giggle in wonderment.

Please Lord, let them elect someone they truly deserve...think of the ratings

Thursday, August 21, 2003

SOCKS AND ROCKS

Our dog, Winston, has a thing for my socks. Whenever he's running around in the house he'll look to see if our bedroom door is open and, if it is, he'll make a mad dash inside. He knows with certainty that this will get my attention and he's also learned he'll usually find at least one pair of my dirty socks somewhere on the floor. This is a wondrous thing for Winston. He will grab them and run like a bandit in possession of the King's Visa card.

He covets my socks. When I corner him and grab the socks he will fight me to retain possession...at least for a while.



I have tried to ignore Winston's behavior, hoping he would realize that old dirty socks are really of no value, but that's only resulted in my finding sock shreds adorning the house and yard. He doesn't get it. To Winston, having the socks is more important than the socks themselves.

Today I'm thinking Winston's sensibilities are not too far afield from some of my fellow Christians who are squabbling over a big rock in Alabama.



I don't get it. This isn't a dogfight over ideology, no matter how we truss it up. It's a battle over a boulder. Make no mistake, I believe the Ten Commandments are the cornerstone of our judicial system. You try to take that away...I'll fight you. But as far as I'm concerned carving God's law into a rock is not as important as etching it into our beings.

If you want to tussle over a piece of granite, you rock...I'll roll.

And I'll pray it's only my socks I find in shreds when we're all through.

EXODUS 20:1-4
And God spoke all these words:
"I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.
"You shall have no other gods before me.
"You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below"

Wednesday, August 20, 2003

SYRUPY OUTREACH

There are some quirky little (McGriddle) oddities to having a website. I received an unsolicited offer from American Express this week for a business credit card...not that unusual, except( McGriddle) it was addressed to MichaelMain.com. Obviously the exclusivity once associated with American Express has long since expired.
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There are a variety of statistics available (McGriddle) on our web server. Most, if not all, are meaningless to me and like most statistics can be used to show any number of things I suppose, McGriddle. I don't look at them very often, but there is one stat I find fascinating. It shows the phrases or words people have used on certain search engines which(McGriddle )brought them to my website.

You know what I've gotten the most "hits" for?

McGriddle sandwiches.

Last June, I made passing mention that I thought the world really didn't need to add syrup to an Egg McMuffin and every month since then I get "hits" for people seeking more information about McGriddle's.

I've never eaten a McGriddle. But it's become a constant in my life. Something I can count on.

If I were the jaded type I could increase the number of visits to my website, McGriddle, through some blatant exploitation of this curiosity.

McGriddle recipe
Secret to McGriddle sandwich
Click here to find out how to make a McGriddle.

HAUNTED

I can smell the aroma. The wafting memory. That perfectly brewed tankard of coffee. I ground the beans myself.
Just the right amount of sweetener, milk.
All the ingredients to make starting my day at 1:45 a.m. somewhat more tolerable.
This daily joy of java.


Why did I leave it on the kitchen counter?

I wonder if it misses me. I miss it


sigh....

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

CUTTING THRU THE BRUSH

I arranged my day around plans to rid the front of the church property of a large pile of brush. We've had to make a few adjustments but it looks like we'll get it done today.

We're moving the brush as part of the process of erecting a new classroom building which is moving very swiftly. Our roofer, Chris, will begin work soon. Chris and his family have come to our church many times. They have had a tough life for such young people. They have struggled with things that would have strangled me had I been saddled with them at such an early age. Chris is persevering though, trying hard to support his wife and two young children. Working hard. Very hard.

Today I'll be helped moving the brush by my friend John who is graciously lending the aid of his equipment. John is successful in his air conditioning business but has been struggling lately too with other aspects of his life. John is also working to help us find a cost effective way to air condition the new facility. Our little church has a little budget and this is really a fairly big project for us to undertake.

When it's done we'll have four new classrooms. Room to grow.

The best thing that may come out of this new building though may be that Chris and John have been involved in the process. Neither are technically members of the church, but soon they may have the most invested in the expansion of our dreams.

We are constructing a building, but we are growing the body of Christ.

Thank God we have roofers, and air conditioning experts....and a carpenter.

Psalm 127:1

Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain.

Monday, August 18, 2003

PATIENTIA CERNUUS

I don't know Latin, but I think the title of this reads something like patience falling headlong. Apologies to any Romans out there if I've been misled and it's really some Latin obscenity...have patience with me.
For some unknown reason I've been thinking about Latin lately. I suspect it's probably due to a deep seated desire to share my general befuddlement with life, and since everyone else seems to be less confused than I, I am resorting to Latin which confuses most everyone.

I was looking for a photo of something in Latin to accompany this literary folly, but the only picture I found was this:



Well, I also found original woodcuts of the symptoms of sexually transmitted diseases described in Latin, but you don't want to see them.

I'm still trying to shake the image of some poor woodcutter saying, "Okay, just hold that pose."

I'm getting more lessons in patience. The car had warning lights, squeals, and leaks as I drove into the office today. Lest ye faithful readers think these are related to my previous car woes which I opined upon recently, allow me to reassure you. These are new problems...of course. Luckily a friend spotted me as I was hoofing it home from my mechanic, who now calls me by the initials "G.E" for Grandkids Endowment, and he gave me a ride home.

As I am writing this my mechanic used his platinum and jewel encrusted phone to call and give me the diagnosis. I'm getting out for under 200 dollars. I figure that's like winning the lotto when it comes to car repairs.

Before General Motors gave me more tangible reminders, I was actually already thinking about patience today. I saw this story. This woman spent 13 hours a day for 45 days setting up 303-thousand dominoes. That's about 9 miles worth of dominoes.



It took 4 minutes for them to fall.

There are lessons there...lessons in patience...lessons in folly.

I'm not going to decide which is which...it's all Greek to me.

Ephesians 4:2

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Sunday, August 17, 2003

LITTLE THOUGHTS

She's not so little anymore.

Lisa leaves for college on Thursday, but today was my last time to see her before she goes. Our goodbyes were too clinical...too grown up. Too soon.



She's not so little anymore.