Saturday, June 14, 2003

A DAY OF REST

Lazy Saturday. Still basking in the afterglow of the Spurs' victory. Even when they win it's painful...but they won. I will relish it.

It dawned on Amy and me last night how we've both been trudging along because this week was dragging on forever. I blamed our upcoming vacation and the desire to be there. Now I truly think it was due to the Spurs losing on Wednesday. We were bummed out all week. After the Spurs won last night, Amy's mood changed quicker than a menopausal woman slipping off her pharmaceutical feed.

It's time for the NBA season to be over though. It's been emotionally draining. It will be a wonderful Father's Day gift if the Spurs win tomorrow night.
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The girls are coming down tonight to spend some time with us for Father's day, which was unexpected and enriching. I was an awkward after thought on Father's day for the kids for many years. It wasn't their fault by any means. They were young. They had no guidelines of etiquette to follow. Stepdad's don't really have a "day" set aside by the greeting card companies yet...and I certainly wanted their father to bask in their love completely on Father's day. I still do. In recent years though the kids have really gone out of their way to make sure I'm remembered. I flatter myself in thinking that might be because I'm a better stepfather, but it's more likely the result of them becoming even more wonderful human beings.

In any case, I love the kids everyday. They honor me by the way they live their lives.

Friday, June 13, 2003

FEARING THE HORIZON

I could see the storm clouds gathering for the past few hours. I just finished mowing the yard, rushing to get my work done before forces of nature beyond my control blocked me.

I am and have always been cautious. I was the kid who checked to see how shallow the waters were before diving in or letting any of my friends plunge into their depths. I am the adult who often says "but what if" after someone offers a moment of spontaneity. I make no apologies for this, it has served me well. I didn't break my neck diving into ponds and quarries when I was young. Nor did any of my friends. I have managed to earn a modicum of respect from people of influence in my workplace because, in what is often an atmosphere dictated by the freefall of the moment, I sometimes can offer a more thoughtful and forward thinking perspective.

Yet at times I hate myself for this....because it is based, in part, on "fear". Fear of what's ahead. What may be.
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20 years ago I thought I was in love. That marriage fell apart quickly. It deserved to. It had no foundation and the participants weren't willing to work at propping it up.

When I met Amy, about 10 years ago, her 13 year marriage had just collapsed.

It happened in different decades, but it was the much the same for both of us. Our comfortable worlds shredded. Uncertain futures ahead...fear was present in our lives.

Today I could not fathom my life without Amy. I love her deeply. I am "in love" with her as well.
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I succeeded this afternoon in "beating the storm". As I was scrambling to make my last pass in the backyard with the lawnmower, sweat pouring off of me thanks in equal parts to the humidity and my lack of conditioning, the sky darkened.
The leading edge of the storm arrived.

But there was no rain. No lightning. No thunder. No hail.

Only cool winds.

Horizons always melt. I should fear them less.


Psalm 34:4
I sought the Lord , and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears.

LUCKY DAY

It's Friday...I don't care if it's Friday the 13th...it's Friday. No Friday can be unlucky in my book.

More later. Go Spurs!

Thursday, June 12, 2003

TICK TICK

It's bad....my vacation is still nearly two weeks away and I am counting down the days. I'm so anxious to get away from the office that I've already done my "last minute" vacation work that I normally save...for the last minute. Of course the potential of somewhat cooler weather may be fueling my desires. Please God...let it be cool in Ohio...anything under 90 will qualify, but a few days in the 70s would certainly replenish my soul.
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Our fairly new neighbors are settling in. A minister, his wife, and four kids including three young boys. The boys are becoming very popular with our dogs since they reguilarly hit baseballs, whiffle balls, rubber balls, over the fence into our yard. I suppose that is something akin to doggie manna for our mutts. The other day I came home and found 6 whiffle balls in the back yard. Occasionally the three young brothers will trudge over, always together, ring the bell and ask if I could retrieve some of their toys for them. As far as problems with neighbors go ours seem rather minor.
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Amy and I quickly dashed out this afternoon to clean the church. I forgot it was my week to clean and hate having "chores" to do on Friday. I don't really considering cleaning the church a chore. I actually see it as a form of worship although that's hard to explain to folks as I'm swabbing out toilets. I figure if you can't work for God, who can you work for? When I'm working for Him, I'm never tempted to watch the clock either.

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

HALFTIME THOUGHTS

McDonald's McGriddle? Do we really need an egg, cheese, bacon, english muffin sandwich with syrup in it?
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KC and the Sunshine Band plus Joe Piscopo? This is the talent available for the NBA finals halftime show in New Jersey. Did I miss the memo that this was "Has Been Night"?
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The New Jersey coach whined about the refs not giving them enough calls and low and behold Tim Duncan, David Robinson, Tony Parker, and two parking lot attendents wearing black all were called for multiple fouls in the first half.

Okay I'm a little bitter....I think I'll watch the second half in bed...maybe I'll have a snack...syrup covered fried chicken sounds good.

FREE! AND WORTH IT HALF THE PRICE

Still suffering from a distinct lack of energy and inspiration. I'm blaming the humidity and the fact that the NBA finals are dragged out for so long. At least the Spurs play tonight. That means that at least there will be something watchable on TV (although the way the last game was played "watchable" is a subjective term).

A couple of weeks ago we noticed our cable box in the living room was suddenly giving us all of the movie channels. We have called the cable company and informed them, since that's the honest thing to do, and we don't want to pay for 792 movie channels. They said not to worry because their new high tech system will reset our box automatically. We're still waiting. What is particularly disturbing about this is not that we're getting stuff we're not paying for (hey, we called I figure we're off the hook ethically) it's that with 792 movie channels, there's still nothing on TV. The movies on cable have to be the worst films ever made.

Of course there are some good movies...but how many times can you watch "Hoosiers"?

When "Legally Blonde" is the best film on television something is wrong with society....besides we've already watched it 6 times...we've had to...it was free.

Tuesday, June 10, 2003

STICKY STEWS

It's hot, muggy, there is no Spurs game today, and I have nothing to blog about. So I'm just going to stir the pot and see what comes to a boil.
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I see the web counter has hit 600, which is reassuring only in that it reminds me other people are bored at times in this life too.
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I see where the New York Times is running a story about how the Iraqi oil industry is hurting because of looters which the U.S. has failed to stop. Isn't this the same newspaper that accused the U.S. of letting looters ransack the Iraqi Antiquities museum because solders were protecting the oil ministry? Now it's finally being widely reported that the museum looting story was bogus (last count 33 items were missing). If I were running the New York Times (and who knows I could be soon under the "winning through attrition" school of business) I think I'd triple check my facts.
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I see that the founder of ImClone has been sentenced to prison for 7 years. This is the company Martha Stewart is in trouble for investing in. I still don't understand this story. The ImClone founder realizes his company is about get hit with a negative report, so he calls his broker and sells his stock and tells his daughter to do the same. That part I understand. It's illegal.
Now the stockbroker is also the broker for Martha Stewart. He calls her and advises her to sell her ImClone stock. She does..and gets indicted. So does the broker.

I'm just a poor schmoe, I don't have a stock broker, but if I did I would want him/her to call me if he saw that a company I was invested in was seeing its major players liquidating their stock. Call me crazy but I thought that's what stock brokers did, safeguarded your investments. What I find really amazing is that Stewart is not charged with insider trading....but fraud, because she declared she was innocent of insider trading. Huh? You can be indicted for declaring your innocence?

You're innocent until proven guilty unless you say you're innocent, in that case you're indicted? .
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I see where Hillary Clinton's new book is setting a record in "non fiction" sales. It would seem deserving of the same rank on the fiction lists in my book.
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I see random Wayneness... I believe people named Wayne are a threat to society. Here is more proof.

Monday, June 09, 2003

AT THE HEART OF HENRY

My friend Henry had a heart attack yesterday.

I call Henry a friend, we've never shared a meal or even a cup of coffee, but I've talked to him or his son almost every day for 18 years. Henry is a creature of the night. A tough bird. An anachronism. A freelance television photographer who crawls the shadowy crag of the city's underbelly with gusto while seeking out the carnage, the cruel and gruesome, the sensational, which, like it or not, is all too often the newsworthy. He lives on the periphery of other people's tragedy replete with the din of a non-stop soundtrack provided by banks of emergency system radio scanners. He is crusty. Foul mouthed. And on the great scale of cynics, he makes me look like Mr. Rogers.

I met Henry in 1985 when I started working at WOAI. He advised me that he was the only reliable source for crime news in the city and I should not only depend on him because it would be to my benefit, but that I should trust him implicitly; ignore all others, and follow his lead and orders. Much of what he said was bravado, but a great deal of it was true. Henry is the best in the city. He doesn't chase ambulances...he beats them to the scene. He hears the blood pumping pulse of the metropolis and breathes in the oft times tainted scent of urban life.

Henry has a skin as hard as granite and relishes in detailing the goriest aspects of man's many misfortunes. As you might imagine, Henry can be a little tough for some folks to stomach but I've always fostered a relationship with him knowing that he is a good news source and that his calcified exterior comes with the territory. He lives in a world where the woes of others are minimized if not mocked because he is perched so close to their pain. It's a carefully constructed wall of protection. To be numb to it, you must reclassify it...remove yourself from it.

Henry's heart attack began at the scene of a grisly accident, where a man was run down and dragged. As his fingers began to tingle Henry opted for the tried and true cure of Diet Coke. When the tingling continued he drove himself to his office. When his chest began to seize he decided to lay down. Finally, he called his wife, who took him to the hospital. Henry opted to have his wife drive him to the hospital, where I stopped by to see him today, because Henry doesn't trust EMS. He told me, "They kill too many people." I had to change the subject in order to get him to stop recanting decades worth of horror stories he had at the ready to illustrate that point.

It appears Henry is going to be okay. Doctors cleared one of his blocked arteries. He could go home as soon as tomorrow. I'm glad he will apparently recover from his heart attack; however as I drove away from the hospital I couldn't help but think that no doctor could really cure him now. His arteries can be unclogged, but his heart is almost beyond repair...ossified by a lifetime of self-imposed mental distance from the worst of humanity which he has spent years within inches of in terms of actual physical proximity. I don't know if Henry's true heart can ever be fixed. I know it will certainly take more than medicines and surgeries.

Today I am praying for real healing of Henry's heart.

Matthew 13:15
For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.


Sunday, June 08, 2003

Stuff to worry about

Well, the "new blogger" seems to be having more problems, so I'm not sure if this will get published or not. I guess I can't complain since Blogger doesn't charge for their service. It is frustrating though to write stuff and see it disappear because you can't trust blogger's system to publish it. Oh well, why worry about that when there are plenty of other things to worry about today.
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Mormon crickets: Mormon crickets are on the march. It's bad enough to have an invasion of crickets but if they're proselytizing too...beware.
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Weather control:This guy thinks the government is controlling the weather. That would explain a lot. People are complaining about the weather everywhere, so it makes sense to think the government must be running it.
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More tattoos. My stepson Joey goes to college in Columbus, but he's missing out on this event. I saw a neighbor mowing his yard yesterday without his shirt on. He was a guy probably 10 years older than me. He had several tattoos. Maybe they looked flattering when he got them.
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Monkeypox:Monkey pox in the midwest! Why on earth would someone get their family member "prairie dogs" as a present? "Happy Birthday Mom! Here's a rat!".
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More hockey: The Mighty Ducks send the Stanley Cup finals to game seven...do I care? No. But Amy has been watching so much ESPN lately because of the Spurs she's now tracking every sport under the sun and a few that belong where the sun doesn't shine. The ducks seems like an odd choice for a team name but the "Mighty" ducks? What's next "Threatening Pigeons"? Really Mean Looking Robins? Fierce fluffy bunnies?
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Another teenager: My niece Emily turns 13 today. The Bible talks about life in four stages: birth, child, adult and death...which proves one thing...God won't take credit for teenagers. Can't really blame Him.

Happy Birthday Emily!!!!