My Private Idunno
About the previous post:
When I started writing here some 6 years ago it was my private little space. I write a lot, but much of what I write is dictated by circumstance and facts and my job. Writing a "blog" was a "release" where I could write whatever I wanted, within certain limits.
For a large part of that initial time, Amy was very ill and I was struggling and writing was one of the few things that kept me sane (or kept up the appearance of sanity). A few people read what I wrote and we had this small community which seemed very intimate.
Then, for a number reasons, the blog picked up readership. That was exciting but also somewhat limiting. I liked the idea of "being popular" - who doesn't? - but after a while knowing there was an "audience" for what I wrote hampered me somewhat. I got over that, realizing no one in their right mind came here looking for wisdom, and all was well.
In recent months, okay let's call it a year or so, I've been busy with a lot of other stuff and writing for the blog became something "on my to do list."
Yeah, kiss of death...I meaning cleaning the garage is on my "to do" list...and it's been there for at least a decade.
Also Amy and I went through some very tumultuous times with friends, people we invited into our home, and folks who asked for our help and then wigged out. Some of those situations became ugly and I realized that although I wanted to write about them, it might only make the situations worse.
Hence my dilemma. Writing as a "release" gradually was replaced by writing as a "responsibility." Plus, there are so many topics that are "off limits" for one reason or another, that my little private place to unburden myself, became a burden in and of itself.
Unfortunately a number of the people we have befriended, guided, prayed with and counseled who then went nuts (yeah, we're rethinking whether God really wants us to counsel anyone) use this blog's comment area or the link to my email on the blog to vent their seemingly endless and rather vicious amounts of emotional debris and denial. That has only added to my growing disdain for the blog itself. Who needs this?
Well, truth is I need this...but I don't need other folks psychological baggage, nor do I want to spend my time tiptoeing around my thoughts fearing that they might trigger another outburst from someone whom we've done everything possible to help, only to be repeatedly beaten up for our efforts.
So, I'm going to continue to write....when I feel like it. It may be once a week, once a month or once in a blue moon.
I'll turn the comments back on...and leave my email link off ( most sober folks can figure out how to email me).
When I need to write things that might set off some headcase (although what triggers that stuff is something of a mystery), or which might be hurtful to someone close to us, I'll write that elsewhere...some new private place.
We'll see what happens.
posted by Michael
©The Main Point by Michael Main
14 Comments
14 Comments:
Michael I am a long time reader, who now reads about as often as you post. Though your daily posts were entertaining, refreshing and often spiritually uplifting, life happens and we must go with the flow. Write what you will, when you will; but rest assured you will have readers when you do. And hey, if you set one of us crazies off, we'll just vent right back atya brother.
God's love and peace to you and Amy.
Because I'm from near Athens Georgia:
You're living in your own Private Idaho
Living in your own Private Idaho
Underground like a wild potato.
Don't go on the patio.
Beware of the pool,
blue bottomless pool.
It leads you straight
right throught the gate
that opens on the pool.
What can I say? I've been more or less where you are and I've more or less done what you are contemplating. I'm in a "private" community online in addition to all the public stuff -- a safe place where I really can blog/talk about the things that need to be said, but in a place I would consider a "covenant community."
I also continue to blog my normal nonsense -- it's like having different friends for different purposes.
I hope you find resolution soon and I'll be in prayer for you.
Welcome back to blogging, Michael :) I am privileged to know you and Amy here...and in real life! God bless!
CIndy
Just don't ever go away.
I've been reading your blog for a long time, and I just have one thing to say: Don't stop writing.
Write when you feel like it, and write about whatever you want... You may be an "inconsequential sage," but you are a sage nonetheless!
Who will tease us [non-Texans] about not knowing what a good fajita is if you stop posting?
God bless you and Amy!
Michael: I have read your blog since Amy mentioned it many years ago when she has her little IT support biz, and I was contracting for one of her clients.
I have respected your wisdom, your Grace under a WHOLE lot of pressure, your quirky humourous postings, and more. You deserve your privacy, peace; you and Amy have been to "there" and back a few times; but I will say I would miss your pity observations on the human condition and your writing.
FWIW,
/mms
Hi Michael! I agree with the rest and have been reading through Amy's illness and beyond and have always found your strength and grace (and humor) refreshing. You write when you want. I'll be here to read it.
Tina
Don't let 'em (and I'm asuming the "ems" are all named Wayne*) get you down. Your blog is a RSS on my IGoogle homepage, and I look fowrard to reading what you can't say on the radio.
* I remember the M Main theory people named Wayne are more likly to commit crimes than people with other names.
I've been here since Amy's illness also. I'm right where you are with my blog. This is my fifth year blogging and this year it has been extremely difficult to keep going with it. I think of things to write but they never make it to the page. Even though thoughts have been therapeutic though. It has been a year with much for our family to handle. Please continue posting. I'm in the process of getting back to mine. Blessings to you and Amy as always.
Lillium
Thank you all SO VERY MUCH! And God bless you for your friendships (cyber and in-person).
Y'all have been an incredible blessing to us over the years. I honestly don't know how we would have made it without knowing you were there. Except knowing that the Lord is always there, of course.
Thanks you, one and all, for your prayers... but most of all for your encouragement to Michael. He is my rock.
Grace & peace,
Amy
Michael,
If you do go private please leave a trail where those of us who have followed you for so long can continue to do so. Maybe a temporary email address that we could write to and you could subscribe us to your blog? I would hate to see you disappear because some damaged people have abused you.
Amen to what advocate said!
-gina-
I think the blogging phenomena has a course and I have found myself identifying with a lot of what you post.
You are a good sensetive man and should continue to write your thoughts. It just occured to me that when Gordon had his anonymity he was really able to write what he truly thought. Perhaps he has another anonomous blog somewhere else.
Perhaps I am wrong, but I really believe that the experiences you have shared here and "experienced" here could probably fill a book in itself.
I continue to think about you often. Particularly with Ike. Keep on Trukkin, err...bloggin
Peace Bro,
MrJ
Hurt People, Hurt People
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