Give 'Em The Chair
It's sort of like one of those robot vacuum cleaners...except it's a chair. I think it's still in the concept stage, but the idea is your local public library would have these chairs, which you'd "activate" with your library card. Then your chair-bot would follow you around ensuring you a place to sit while you browse the books.
What will they think of next? I mean going to the library is already soooo physically taxing...
Oh yeah, I want 3 or 4...."Chair Wars!"
3 Comments:
Merry Christmas!
bt
Merry Christmas, Michael. May you and your good family enjoy an abundance of love, and all things that make you happy at this festive time of year!
Anonymous said...
Michael Main Michael@Mi wrote:
Scott,
I was just about to call the property crimes division and leave them a message telling them that the case could be closed, until we found the battery was not in the phone you returned.
You said you would be respectful. This is not a good sign.
I highly recommend you return the battery right away. Like right now.
You don?t deserve to be told anything else?I?m so disgusted and disappointed in your behavior.
However be aware, I have been awake since Friday morning at 1 a.m. as a result of this ongoing drama and I?ve put that time to good use.
I?m going to tell you how this will play out in ?round one? if we play ?your way.?
I cannot withdraw the felony theft complaint now, since I don?t know if the phone is working. If it?s been damaged as a result of theft, I need a police report to satisfy our insurance?and of course you would still be liable.
Multiple measures have been taken to protect my home and family and neighborhood?on various fronts.
If you want to play this out in a childish fashion, there will be a police officer here within minutes should you reappear to claim items you say belong to you. I?m told he will tell you that your claims are a ?civil matter? and you?ll have to document ownership of every item. You?ll need to prove residency?but not to the cop. Even if you could convince the officer I call, you won?t be able ?take anything? because I will dispute your claims. The cop will say, ?this is a civil matter? so you?ll need to hire a lawyer, sue me, I?ll have filed for a restraining order by Monday afternoon, citing threats, allegations of child molestation and drug dealing?and then we?ll wait for the justice system to take it?s time. You see I won?t be throwing your ?alleged stuff? on the lawn. I will however deny you access to our home, because you don?t live here, and the police can?t force me to let you in.
We showed you grace and mercy and you repaid us with pettiness.
I don?t know how you live with yourself.
You can complain to the cop until you?re blue in the face, but like the officer?s said the other night, ?It?s a civil matter.?
Of course, there?s that open theft complaint and the police officer and you.
The complaint number is 80408737 - Property Crimes phone number is:
207-7601?.call them Monday and ask, if you really want to drag this out.
Or you can bring back the battery now and hope you haven?t damaged the phone in your childishness.
I talk to police officers every day and have for 30 years in this city?and surrounding areas?I know some pretty well.
Police have also taken statements regarding your threats involving ?banditos and the Mexican mafia?. Maybe the police officer who arrives when I call will decide not pursue the open felony theft complaint naming you, however usually it?s been my experience that police simply arrest accused thieves and then let the jury sort it out. You?ll have a place to stay should that happen.
I?ve talked to attorney?s, police, judges and numerous other folks?I?m telling you, if you have a brain cell working in your head?not to mention an ounce of decency considering what Amy and I have done for you and you are putting her and me thru this, I?m doubtful that you do?but believe me the folks I?ve strategized with have made it clear to me that if you want to prolong this, you?ll be worse off for it.
Just bring the battery back, right now. No excuses, no delays, no blaming someone else. No replies please.
Just bring the battery back and act like an adult.
YOU THREATENED MY FAMILY.
YOU.
And now you?re playing games. I?m not.
I strongly suggest you do not test my will on this?I implore you to do what?s right. I assure you, you will get whatever belongings of yours might be here if you start to behave like a man. My integrity is not in question here.
Don?t mistake that to mean I?m not ready to show you how the game is played if you want to be stupid. I?m prepared to go scorched earth if need be. If you want me to file other charges against you, sue you, bring Child protective services, ex-girlfriends, parents, and some folks you don?t know into the mix?I?ll go that route. The lawyers have already done the background checks, and believe me it?s not going to ?less stressful? for you.
Give it some prayerful thought.
I have?I?ve thought of nothing else, tracked down every piece of information, and just need to pull the trigger.
I don?t want it this way. You could be in and out with your stuff on with your life in no time?or not.
No excuse, no whining, no threats. Bring back our property?immediately.
And we?ll try to play nice and resolve this like adults without lawyers and police.
Monday morning is ?kickoff? otherwise?.I have my team in place?and I?m ready to call plays.
If you want to be childish?we?ll go that route.
But you remember you had the chance to resolve this, but you sabotaged it.
Remember this too?.My playbook doesn?t have one defensive play in it.
Return the battery?.right now. Just drop in a bag and put it on the porch and leave. We?ll work out the rest later.
I swear to you, otherwise Monday is going feel like déjà vu and it?s going to last for a very, very long time.
I?ll pray God shows me how to forgive you one day.
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Subject: Re: Phone battery
To: Michael@om
Bye the way my really powerful relative of my family,ever herd of Ralph fair? like a street or anything, well, see, your email was forwarded to alot of family members, and uhm, its not good, i do not appreciate such threats, you will get your battery, when i get all my property, you got your phone, that's a 200 dollar phone, that i have paid money towards(statements have been verified by camera, and microphone), and today after you got your phone as u stated IN previous email,I got my 3,000 grand bike(warranty worth 500 for 5 years) (verified by attorney) see , i was gonna keep my mouth shut, and just get my stuff, you get your stuff, and bam, that's it, besides, i had every right to live there according to the police, and have anyone I want over, but you didnt like that, so therefore, you violated my rights, recall what the police said... i can have whoever over?.......awwww, the rights of others, see how you crossed the bounds... I WOULD STRONGLY suggest you just relax....Daddy may be an asshole, but he can spot an asshole thats bigger than him, a fellow, so called christian, recall that? hmmm,I wonder.30 days, anyone i want in the house?...SO me being away, see, i have that right, and being now , since you went public in this matter, is cause i had a right to live there, and you and everyone else knows whats going on, and you shoot me, as you are recorded on 911 as wanting to do to me, and jury, is'nt gonna be happy with you, or your whole, shoot up, pill pop-pin, drink-in drunks, from every second of the day or stealing pills from Amy's ass, or taking MORPHINE pills from me, I was giving from ch anise, and you where told my Amy not to take, although , everyone but Amy knows the truth........Dude, you need to chill out, I have jeans worth more than a battery... i compromised, and have your email from my your account telling me i am right.........IE. I gave a you phone BUT battery...see now its not a felony, if that so called phone, that i supposedly on camera, in your own words last week, make some payment towards...IE phone bill? awww shucks, more legal mumbo jumbo.....anyways, chill, out, i meant what i said, unlike you you telling Amy you didn't take morphine pills, that i supplied to you.....I'm sure chanise knows... i wonder if chanise knows about this email before Amy? who's walking on a crutch who threatened me with it, and the cops are aware of the sound? I know it was recorded, as a vry loud, and intimadating sound...Michael, just chill out....I also, for the record, am fully aware that I still owe for the phone bill......(Attorney verified) I mean NO HARM, I happen to think Amy is great, although, being a former full fledged lesbian, in her past sure makes my fellow female past friend seem awefully nice(not including becky she tried to bathe with naked, with candles, already drunk, and another glasss of wine, i wasnt the only one there, and becky, WILL AAAAAAAAAALLLLLSSSSOOOO verify, Please relax........YOu guys where good with me, till Chanise the fraud, the ugh, did her work(someone likes other women, i warned you about chanise? recall? before she moved in, your bedroom, you laying down, me in the doorway i am NEVER ever in? HOw many times, can I count Amy, telling, and talking to chanise, that what she is doing isnt ok...lioke the oter day, the whole day was great and she started on me...and amy herd it, and told she off for doing wrong, and the same shit keeps going on and on and on, and i have herd, unlike with others i have been on the phone with, of amy correcting chanise, and me saying nothing, as i have been doing all along, (well 70 percent of the time) and here i am, feeling like i really need to say a thing....michael, i wish you and amy well....but please chill out. Ill be at church sunday...sometime, with other friends :)
Michael Main Mic wrote: Scott,
I was just about to call the property crimes division and leave them a message telling them that the case could be closed, until we found the battery was not in the phone you returned.
You said you would be respectful. This is not a good sign.
I highly recommend you return the battery right away. Like right now.
You don?t deserve to be told anything else?I?m so disgusted and disappointed in your behavior.
However be aware, I have been awake since Friday morning at 1 a.m. as a result of this ongoing drama and I?ve put that time to good use.
I?m going to tell you how this will play out in ?round one? if we play ?your way.?
I cannot withdraw the felony theft complaint now, since I don?t know if the phone is working. If it?s been damaged as a result of theft, I need a police report to satisfy our insurance?and of course you would still be liable.
Multiple measures have been taken to protect my home and family and neighborhood?on various fronts.
If you want to play this out in a childish fashion, there will be a police officer here within minutes should you reappear to claim items you say belong to you. I?m told he will tell you that your claims are a ?civil matter? and you?ll have to document ownership of every item. You?ll need to prove residency?but not to the cop. Even if you could convince the officer I call, you won?t be able ?take anything? because I will dispute your claims. The cop will say, ?this is a civil matter? so you?ll need to hire a lawyer, sue me, I?ll have filed for a restraining order by Monday afternoon, citing threats, allegations of child molestation and drug dealing?and then we?ll wait for the justice system to take it?s time. You see I won?t be throwing your ?alleged stuff? on the lawn. I will however deny you access to our home, because you don?t live here, and the police can?t force me to let you in.
We showed you grace and mercy and you repaid us with pettiness.
I don?t know how you live with yourself.
You can complain to the cop until you?re blue in the face, but like the officer?s said the other night, ?It?s a civil matter.?
Of course, there?s that open theft complaint and the police officer and you.
The complaint number is 80408737 - Property Crimes phone number is:
207-7601?.call them Monday and ask, if you really want to drag this out.
Or you can bring back the battery now and hope you haven?t damaged the phone in your childishness.
I talk to police officers every day and have for 30 years in this city?and surrounding areas?I know some pretty well.
Police have also taken statements regarding your threats involving ?banditos and the Mexican mafia?. Maybe the police officer who arrives when I call will decide not pursue the open felony theft complaint naming you, however usually it?s been my experience that police simply arrest accused thieves and then let the jury sort it out. You?ll have a place to stay should that happen.
I?ve talked to attorney?s, police, judges and numerous other folks?I?m telling you, if you have a brain cell working in your head?not to mention an ounce of decency considering what Amy and I have done for you and you are putting her and me thru this, I?m doubtful that you do?but believe me the folks I?ve strategized with have made it clear to me that if you want to prolong this, you?ll be worse off for it.
Just bring the battery back, right now. No excuses, no delays, no blaming someone else. No replies please.
Just bring the battery back and act like an adult.
YOU THREATENED MY FAMILY.
YOU.
And now you?re playing games. I?m not.
I strongly suggest you do not test my will on this?I implore you to do what?s right. I assure you, you will get whatever belongings of yours might be here if you start to behave like a man. My integrity is not in question here.
Don?t mistake that to mean I?m not ready to show you how the game is played if you want to be stupid. I?m prepared to go scorched earth if need be. If you want me to file other charges against you, sue you, bring Child protective services, ex-girlfriends, parents, and some folks you don?t know into the mix?I?ll go that route. The lawyers have already done the background checks, and believe me it?s not going to ?less stressful? for you.
Give it some prayerful thought.
I have?I?ve thought of nothing else, tracked down every piece of information, and just need to pull the trigger.
I don?t want it this way. You could be in and out with your stuff on with your life in no time?or not.
No excuse, no whining, no threats. Bring back our property?immediately.
And we?ll try to play nice and resolve this like adults without lawyers and police.
Monday morning is ?kickoff? otherwise?.I have my team in place?and I?m ready to call plays.
If you want to be childish?we?ll go that route.
But you remember you had the chance to resolve this, but you sabotaged it.
Remember this too?.My playbook doesn?t have one defensive play in it.
Return the battery?.right now. Just drop in a bag and put it on the porch and leave. We?ll work out the rest later.
I swear to you, otherwise Monday is going feel like déjà vu and it?s going to last for a very, very long time.
I?ll pray God shows me how to forgive you one day.
Subject: Re: Phone battery
To: Michael by the way your nice lil email has been forwarded to people in your church, i always loved those lil church phamplets, that have emails on them....the threats are VERY unchristian like, according to my "journey" sources grow up michael, this isnt a game, its not all that big of a deal, you have way more of my property there, thats mine, than a cell phone battery, I clearlily stated in a recorded conversation to you, that i didnt wanna give you the whole cell phone, to you, cause you guys still had my bike, and etc, my helmit it still worth over 200 without the visor....? you just chill out, dang... i have had that phone for what 6 months? think lawyers
Michael Main MichaelMain.cm wrote:
Bye the way my really powerful relative of my family,ever herd of Ralph fair? like a street or anything, well, see, your email was forwarded to alot of family members, and uhm, its not good, i do not appreciate such threats, you will get your battery, when i get all my property, you got your phone, that's a 200 dollar phone, that i have paid money towards(statements have been verified by camera, and microphone), and today after you got your phone as u stated IN previous email,I got my 3,000 grand bike(warranty worth 500 for 5 years) (verified by attorney) see , i was gonna keep my mouth shut, and just get my stuff, you get your stuff, and bam, that's it, besides, i had every right to live there according to the police, and have anyone I want over, but you didnt like that, so therefore, you violated my rights, recall what the police said... i can have whoever over?.......awwww, the rights of others, see how you crossed the bounds... I WOULD STRONGLY suggest you just relax....Daddy may be an asshole, but he can spot an asshole thats bigger than him, a fellow, so called christian, recall that? hmmm,I wonder.30 days, anyone i want in the house?...SO me being away, see, i have that right, and being now , since you went public in this matter, is cause i had a right to live there, and you and everyone else knows whats going on, and you shoot me, as you are recorded on 911 as wanting to do to me, and jury, is'nt gonna be happy with you, or your whole, shoot up, pill pop-pin, drink-in drunks, from every second of the day or stealing pills from Amy's ass, or taking MORPHINE pills from me, I was giving from ch anise, and you where told my Amy not to take, although , everyone but Amy knows the truth........Dude, you need to chill out, I have jeans worth more than a battery... i compromised, and have your email from my your account telling me i am right.........IE. I gave a you phone BUT battery...see now its not a felony, if that so called phone, that i supposedly on camera, in your own words last week, make some payment towards...IE phone bill? awww shucks, more legal mumbo jumbo.....anyways, chill, out, i meant what i said, unlike you you telling Amy you didn't take morphine pills, that i supplied to you.....I'm sure chanise knows... i wonder if chanise knows about this email before Amy? who's walking on a crutch who threatened me with it, and the cops are aware of the sound? I know it was recorded, as a vry loud, and intimadating sound...Michael, just chill out....I also, for the record, am fully aware that I still owe for the phone bill......(Attorney verified) I mean NO HARM, I happen to think Amy is great, although, being a former full fledged lesbian, in her past sure makes my fellow female past friend seem awefully nice(not including becky she tried to bathe with naked, with candles, already drunk, and another glasss of wine, i wasnt the only one there, and becky, WILL AAAAAAAAAALLLLLSSSSOOOO verify, Please relax........YOu guys where good with me, till Chanise the fraud, the ugh, did her work(someone likes other women, i warned you about chanise? recall? before she moved in, your bedroom, you laying down, me in the doorway i am NEVER ever in? HOw many times, can I count Amy, telling, and talking to chanise, that what she is doing isnt ok...lioke the oter day, the whole day was great and she started on me...and amy herd it, and told she off for doing wrong, and the same shit keeps going on and on and on, and i have herd, unlike with others i have been on the phone with, of amy correcting chanise, and me saying nothing, as i have been doing all along, (well 70 percent of the time) and here i am, feeling like i really need to say a thing....michael, i wish you and amy well....but please chill out. Ill be at church sunday...sometime, with other friends :)stealing pills from Amy's ass, or taking MORPHINE pills from me, I was giving from ch anise, and you where told my Amy not to take, although , everyone but Amy knows the truth........Dude, you need to chill out, I have jeans worth more than a battery... i compromised, and have your email from my your account telling me i am right.........IE. I gave a you phone BUT battery...see now its not a felony, if that so called phone, that i supposedly on camera, in your own words last week, make some payment towards...IE phone bill? awww shucks, more legal mumbo jumbo.....anyways, chill, out, i meant what i said, unlike you you telling Amy you didn't take morphine pills, that i supplied to you.....I'm sure chanise knows... i wonder if chanise knows about this email before Amy? who's walking on a crutch who threatened me with it, and the cops are aware of the sound? I know it was recorded, as a vry loud, and intimadating sound...Michael, just chill out....I also, for the record, am fully aware that I still owe for the phone bill......(Attorney verified) I mean NO HARM, I happen to think Amy is great, although, being a former full fledged lesbian, in her past sure makes my fellow female past friend seem awefully nice(not including becky she tried to bathe with naked, with candles, already drunk, and another glasss of wine, i wasnt the only one there, and becky, WILL AAAAAAAAAALLLLLSSSSOOOO verify, Please relax........YOu guys where good with me, till Chanise the fraud, the ugh, did her work(someone likes other women, i warned you about chanise? recall? before she moved in, your bedroom, you laying down, me in the doorway i am NEVER ever in? HOw many times, can I count Amy, telling, and talking to chanise, that what she is doing isnt ok...like the oter day, the whole day was great and she started on.....anyways, chill, out, i meant what i said, unlike you you telling Amy you didn't take morphine pills, that i supplied to you.....I'm sure chanise knows... i wonder if chanise knows about this email before Amy? who's walking on a crutch who threatened me with it, and the cops are aware of the sound? I know it was recorded, as a vry loud, and intimadating sound...Michael, just chill out....I also, for the record, am fully aware that I still owe for the phone bill......(Attorney verified) I mean NO HARM, I happen to think Amy is great, although, being a former full fledged lesbian, in her past sure makes my fellow female past friend seem awefully nice(not including becky she tried to bathe with naked, with candles, already
2:05 AM
I had a rather odd - at least considering the source - email last weekend from my immediate boss and longtime co-worker which read,"Please, write something about your 'Memorial day memories'...it's for a radio station web project."
That was it.
It was a little unsettling.
I mean I write all the time...writing wasn't the issue. The topic didn't scare me...even though it sounded like an assignment you'd give some high school English class. I'll also confess my first thought was, "You mean Sean Elliot's 1999 Western Conference finals shot? The 'Memorial day Miracle?"
Honestly, I remember that Memorial day pretty vividly, but I assumed despite the cryptic nature of the email that 'the web project' was meant to pay homage to the men and women who have and continue to serve and defend our freedoms.
I'm asked to write or help other people write all sorts of things in other aspects of my life, but what I write at work - at least usually - is determined not by vagaries but by facts. I mean, the parameters at work are usually more definitive.
"Memories" are subject to any number of variables, not the least of which is my ability to recall them.
I wasn't intimidated by the idea, but it was as my friend Gordon once wrote like my "world's were colliding."
I got over it, knowing if someone wanted me to have more precise direction I would have received it to begin with so this 'project' was likely a rather last minute thing, and whatever I submitted was not going to be judged too harshly or judged by anything more than word count.
In any case, I found some old photos which provoked good memories, and when I had some time at work I treated the assignment like I do this blog...I wrote whatever came to mind.
A portion of it is included below and the basic theme is the same I suppose but I reworked it into a form I preferred.
I feel compelled to write something about Memorial day, but I also would be remiss if I didn't write about something else that's very important...and I don't think I can tie them together in any plausible segue, so I'm only going to mention that following the little essay is some other news....in radio we call that a "tease."
"The world should know of those who give so much for liberty.
The dearest thing in all the world to a father and mother---their children."- Congressional Record 1917
My father was a member of what we now refer to as "The Greatest Generation" - a veteran of World War II - and like many such men, he never spoke of it, at least not to his sons. He wasn't a war hero, war wasn't something to tell "stories" about and I suppose he believed there were more important things to discuss with his sons because every day was precious.
"Combat" and "Hogan's Heroes" were on TV - it wasn't until many years later that war became a reality to me. Before then, it was a "game," albeit as the youngest of three boys I was rarely the victor in our make believe skirmishes.
[Photo] Memorial Day Memories from those days were of parading and pretending and the only thing I have in common with them now is the same haircut. [Photo] The pretending came to a sudden end for me in 1972 when I buried my father, and weeks later, my mother at a military cemetery and gazed upon what seemed to be a never ending sea of reality and sorrow.
Those days were "Memorial Day Memories" to me.
Heroes beneath dirt. The chapters of their lives condensed perhaps in long forgotten newspaper clippings or perhaps kept alive only by a few faint, but frail and failing memories. Some were already lost forever. The neatly organized non-ornate tombstones seemed to me to be a sad and somewhat pathetic attempt to somehow force uniformity on what was obviously an uncontrollable, uncomfortable and unavoidable truth...death.
Don't misinterpret me, there was an air of honor, of respect..but also a healthy dose of fear for a boy my age whose entire world had become uncertain. Especially since the rest of the world which I hadn't paid much attention to up to this point suddenly didn't appear to present much solid footing for wherever the heck I was headed next.
Remember it was 1972... there were an increasing number of bright white undeviating markers honoring men of service, but no matter how neatly arranged, uniformity failed to ease the feelings of loss...and of fear.
A lot of time has passed since then. I no longer fear death because I have come to understand that I will not always understand God's plan, but I have faith in it nonetheless.
Over the years, I have been to many military cemeteries to bury brave men and women, or to observe their burials.
Every one of those days is a "Memorial Day Memory" to me.
Our most recent next door neighbors are a family with three sons. I see the boys playing together all the time...they laugh, and "shoot hoops" and skateboard...but they don't "play war." I suspect not many kids do these days.
I'm sure they still enjoy parades and cookouts and family on Memorial day, but I also suspect they understand more about Memorial Day than I did at their age.
That's a hard thing.
[Photo]
However I'm not positive it's a "bad" thing.
I think we need more "Memorial Day Memories"...I think we should have them every day.
=======================
The other news? Yes, I made you read all of that to get to this...you should be thanking me, reading is good for your brain...mental aerobics as my father-in-law is known to say...
Oh the news! Sorry, forgot my train of thought.
As the prior post implied our youngest daughter Lisa graduated from Baylor last week - one day I'll see the humor in how that day went for me and likely write about it, but suffice it to say I'm still walking with the use of a cane and apparently will be for the foreseeable future - I can't wait to see the DVD of the actual graduation ceremony.
No, that's not the news, that's me whining.
I also made passing mention in that post that Lisa is "in love."
She's in love with a good man, Joel, who is apparently also a decisive man.
Lisa graduated. She and Joel started the frenzied process of rearranging their lives, preparing for grad school for Joel...Lisa seeking a position worthy of her degree and talent...and somewhere in that process Joel managed to do one other thing...
He asked Lisa to allow him to love her and make memories with her for the rest of their lives.
[Photo]
She told me about it over the phone and when I wailed and moaned about how quickly she had become a young woman of 23, she was ready. Without missing a beat she said, "Michael, when Mom was 23 she already had three children! Number three was me!"
I think it was then that I let her go, she had other folks to call...and I had to find my cane.
I'm so very happy for her and Joel, and so delighted in their joy...but I must admit, there are some memories for which I will never be adequately prepared.
Dancing at Lisa's wedding however is one I think I'll start preparing for in advance.
Obviously some are bigger than others, but I think memorable moments come every day like so many of God's blessings...some we miss, too many we take for granted.
I think I need to remember that more often.
"Do you have any idea how powerful God is? Have you ever heard of a teacher like him? Has anyone ever had to tell him what to do, or correct him, saying, 'You did that all wrong!'? Remember, then, to praise his workmanship, which is so often celebrated in song. Everybody sees it; nobody is too far away to see it."- Job 36:22 (MSG)
posted by Michael at 11:33 PM on May 25, 2008
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