The Meltdown
I knew it was coming.
A 13 year old boy whose family was torn apart.
A 13 year old boy who apparently has not had a decent adult male role model for much of his life.
A 13 year old boy who saw everything he ever knew wash away and in the swirl of that tide he was eventually carried by buses and pickup trucks to a new city, a new school, a new home, a new church and a new life.
A 13 year old boy who has tried very hard to act like nothing can harm him, like he doesn't care about anything or anyone.
A 13 year old boy who has done everything possible to avoid looking like a vulnerable, wounded, lost...13 year old boy.
I've been so proud. His grades aren't good, but he's taken it upon himself to find tutors. He didn't have any friends, but he's been aggressive in meeting kids in the neighborhood. He has tried very hard and shouldered many a burden that no one should ask of a 13 year old boy.
He's far from perfect. His behavior can be maddening at times. He's 13.
He has set goals and this week he thought he had achieved one...but he was mistaken. A teacher counted a grade against him which he thought was unfair. It resulted in him not passing one course, which kept him from going with the band to football games. He got angry...real angry.
He cried and fumed and stomped around. He raged at teachers and life and perhaps even God.
Finally! Thank you God...finally!
When I saw him after school yesterday, he first mentioned a horn he'd been eying on Ebay and I mentioned the sky high mound of pizza rolls he was eating. Then he mentioned what was really on his mind, the only thing on his mind...the thought that had dominated him all day... festering and feasting on his delicate self image. He told me how "Mr. So and So failed me because of one stinkin' grade that should have counted in the last grading period not this one!"
I acted like I didn't already know. That I wasn't aware about the crying and fuming and stomping and rage earlier in the day that prompted a call from a school counselor to his Mom.
I told him I was very proud of how much he's been able to do and how well he's doing in other classes. I told him I knew he'd do better in that one class.
He said a few more things about that teacher.
I mentioned we were going to church and he told me he didn't want to come along. I said I wanted him to - that we were going as a family.
He said okay.
I was once a 14 year old boy who lost a great deal and was tugged and tumbled into Texas...to a completely unfamiliar world. I raged and fumed inside for a very very long time.
Oh Father...I don't believe there has been a time in my life for which You have better prepared me. I pray I do right by You...and by this 13 year old boy.
posted by Michael
©The Main Point by Michael Main
9 Comments
9 Comments:
Mike,
I've been a one of those boys myself. Not wanting to let on that anything ever hurt me, yet everything that came my way seemed to draw blood.
Going to church as a family... Good idea. That is pretty much what he needs the most.
Be Well,
Tim
I'm the glad this boy has you in his life. Sounds like you are definately in the right place at the right time.
So, can he appeal?
And yes, it's good you're there.
Sitting here with tears...not sure why but they're good tears. I'm so thankful you're there for him.
Having been a victim of teachers who made mistakes, myself, perhaps I am particularly sensitive to what seems to have happened.
If the teacher erred, and refuses to admit it, [s]he needs to bear some shame and know that all actions have consequences. If there was not an error, the student could learn from the situation.
My opinion, for what it's worth, is that there's a lot more good that needs to wrung from this?
Michael,
I am so proud of you for your wonderful influence on this boy. God bless you!
Lisa
Michael--Sometimes it seems we spend most of our lives preparing for...what? I'm so glad the Lord is using all you've been through to help your young friend. Nothing is wasted.
It ain't easy sometimes. But it ain't too hard for Father.
You sound like a good listener; which means you don't have to agree or disagree, you don't have to solve a problem, and you don't have to judge him. Just be. Yourself, available, and caring. One of these days he's either going to write you a really great letter, or give you a really big hug, and simply say thanks. Won't that make your day!
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