Stupid Human Tricks
We call it "Talent Night" at the church but it's a lot closer to "Stupid Human Trick" night. That's not to say we don't have a lot of talented folks in the church, it's more that most folks keep their talents hidden...well hidden...real well hidden.
Anyway tonight is Talent Night so I've been practicing my talent...for several minutes. I don't play an instrument. I don't sing...or at least I don't sing well. You can scratch dancing, joke telling, impersonations and being a mime off the list too.
My talent is....pillow spinning.
I can take a small couch cushion or other pillow and twirl it on my fingertip.
Don't laugh...this took years of laziness to perfect. I spent hours and hours lying on the couch watching reruns of M*A*S*H or shows that were equally challenging to my mental acuity while mastering this particular skill.
Now each year people come from miles around to see me "perform" for I only pull out this marvelous ability once a year on our church "talent" night.
Okay, we also serve dinner and that might serve as a mild inducement for some of the folks who show up, but others I'm certain are there to see the pinnacle of pillow spinning.
As you might have discerned by now a large part of my "act" involves hypnotism...it must because each year several people actually remain in their seats to watch me spin a pillow on my index finger.
This year I'm incorporating something new...an assistant. Ana, one of our houseguests, still thinks I'm joking but I plan to drag her up front with me to help as I mesmerize and astound the crowd.
Okay, I'm not above using a teenage girl who fled New Orleans in my act to avoid getting booed.
Anyway...church starts in 25 minutes...I better get ready and put in some practice. I wonder if we have a pillow?
posted by Michael
©The Main Point by Michael Main
8 Comments
8 Comments:
That is so fuuny. And so original! I love it!
Talent is "talent"-
I sure can't spin a pillow!
Bravo on your "act" tonight : )
Enjoy the evening : )
Take Care!
Well - did you find a pillow? Did you get booed? Did Ana help you?
Don't you dare leave this story half told and not tell us how it went!!
Janet McK
The pillow act was a great success, I think largely due to Ana's ability to distract the audience. It was a good night full of food, song, laughter and fun.
I'll post some pictures later today, mercifully none of me pillow spinning. I had the camera so I controlled my level of embarassment :)
-M
I put on a boa and lots of make up and sang "Hey There," a song from the 50s.
We had SO much fun!!
Don't let him fool you. The pillow spinning act is an amazing thing to see. It's like those plate spinning people you occasionally see on tv.
There would be an open revolt if Michael didn't spin pillows and Ben didn't do his hambone thingy.
Holy cow! (No religious offense intended) Your church has a hambone thingy specialist?? I'm moving to Texas!
Wow, I found another pillow spinner! A friend taught me the talent of pillow spinning about 16 years ago. Ironically, he was originally from Houston, Texas, and I perfected the talent while watching television and spinning small throw pillows.
I don't wait till talent shows to show off, however; I'll just start spinning wherever there are pillows, sometimes improperly, but what the hell. It's amazing the effect it has on people, as whoever sees you spinning a pillow will stop whatever he/she is doing, just to watch you. Some will even try to emulate the talent, to hilarious results. I even got a kid yelled at by his mom, after the kid saw me spinning a book, and tried to copy me, making a racket as the book fell to the floor of the library.
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